Close your eyes and imagine you are Mark Zuckerberg today. You are feeling your bank account growing and expanding beyond any previous effort on the entire planet Earth!
Go ahead, think about how that would feel to see the most abundant financial and professional success of anyone known to man!
Feel the pride, the accomplishment, the abundance, the inspiration of who to help and what to do with the wealth of resources available at this price tag.
Allow your inspiration to wonder, who would you ‘save’? What would you ‘change’? What would you ‘do’? How would you feel, knowing you can make a difference to the tune of 19.1 billion?
In America, we love capitalism, we love money, and we value our happiness!
It is in our culture, we will do anything for happiness, albeit, take a pill a day, buy fancy cars, donate to favorite charities, get a new haircut or new pair of shoes on top of the 100 pairs we already have.
We are always seeking that which will make us ‘feel better and stress less’ so we can find happiness in life and live with peace of mind and heart.
Our culture veins are consistently pumping with messages of need more, want more, spend more, get more, more more more more more...
There is never an end to the feeling of needing more and not having enough.
We are a consistently dissatisfied culture experiencing immense amounts of stress and horrific numbers of depression cases, let alone suicides.
So as we sit back and watch the wealth explode through the ether of our planet, get excited and inspired with what $19.1 billion can do to help the world be a better place. Feel the pride and accomplishment it must feel like to see this level of success of your hard work, vision, and leadership.
This multi billion-dollar concept is so far beyond the average person making 40k a year, it is hard to believe, imagine, or conceive what that feels like.
It must be a feeling of joy and bliss beyond our wildest dreams, right?!
Yet, what if it’s not?
What if its terror, fear, stress, upset, dread of the ‘high’ wearing off.
I have worked with plenty of people who have had the success, the fame, the fortune, the accomplishments, the recognition, yet all of these are unsustainable paths to achieve deep inner contentment and bliss.
So as we are pumped with the messages of
Need more
Want more
I don’t have enough
I can’t make a difference
I can’t be happy until ...
We need to be inspired with our leaders who have been able to do the un-doable. Accomplish goals beyond our wildest dreams.
We need to be realistic and realize the sustainable happiness path is on the inside. Money can increase yet stakes increase, responsibilities increase, the game is bigger, the losses are greater, stress can increase dramatically after the ‘high’ of the initial happiness boost.
After the initial boost, happiness derived from external rewards only lasts up to 3 months most of the time.
By the way, research has shown that beyond 70k on average in America, money does not influence happiness. However, we all know ‘poorer’ countries can be even happier with a lot less than the American dollar of 70k a year.
It will be an interesting observation to see how this financial windfall affects Mr. Zuckerberg’s levels of stress and his inner peace.
There are ‘successful’ people who are miserable. They know that another $100,000 or even another 1 million is not going to make them happier.
So, what is there to learn here?
A way to happiness is an inside job. Any amount of money is not going to create a sustained frequent positive mood, contentment, or eternal states of bliss for you. It is an inescapable journey that each of us must take for our own levels of peace without stress.
If you can admit that maybe even $19.1 billion may not equal sustainable inner peace and in fact it can even be experienced as deep inner turmoil and stress, then you could benefit from learning my 5 steps to sustainable happiness. Visit www.HappinessMakeover.com for more information.
Click here for downloable lessons to sustainable happiness.
With happiness,
Dr. Aymee Coget
Showing posts with label dr aymee coget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dr aymee coget. Show all posts
Friday, May 18, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Focus On What's Right With You!
How many compliments did you receive today? How many people told you how they thought you were so amazing and wonderful today? How often do you tell yourself, “Damn, I am a really great person and I have so many wonderful aspects to my personality!” How often do you tell someone what you appreciate about them or what strengths you see in them?
My guess is not every day! We live in a society that is focused on what is wrong with us, what we need to fix about ourselves, things we can be better at.
Yet how much has such focusing on what's wrong with you helped you achieve greater happiness?
The great news is that there is another way that and it's blowing the traditional approach out of the water with its effectiveness!
It is called the Values in Action (VIA) Signature Strengths (Peterson & Seligman, 2003). This typology of strengths tells us what is good about ourselves instead of what is wrong with us, and then builds on our strengths. All of the concentration on the positive allows the ‘negative’ to become less visible in someone’s lives.
To the cynics out there, I know it may sound ignorant to concentrate on the positive and ignore the negative or the “problems”. Yet, there is plenty of scientific evidence yielding great results when employing this technique and it has had lasting success at the systemic, group and individual levels. I especially want to point to the groundbreaking dissertation research in 2007 of Dr. Jason Berman, which gives clear evidence showing that when we know our strengths and consider them in terms of our self-concept, we are indeed happier (Berman, 2007).
I was so excited when I found out that psychology could actually tell me what is good about myself! This field has done such a great job at analyzing what is wrong with us, it is about time they start looking at what is right! As soon as I could, I took that VIA test and below are my strengths:
Gratitude
Kindness & generosity
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
Curiosity and interest in the world
Hope, optimism and future mindedness
Since learning my strengths, I have felt a whole new sense of how I can be my best self. Gratitude for me was something I developed over the course my adult life, and it has become part of my everyday state of being. Knowing that I am kind and generous helps me to understand why I desire to help others, and why it makes me happy. Utilizing gratitude and kindness in your everyday life are two of the top methods that are used to increase happiness. Learning about my third strength, appreciation of beauty and excellence, made me understand why I enjoy the best in life. My curiosity and interest in the world keeps me from boredom or from judging others. Lastly, my fifth strength, of hope, optimism and future mindedness helps me to remember that there is a “light at the end of the tunnel” when times get rough. This strength helps me to inspire others to see the light at the end of the tunnel too.
Once we know what our strengths are, we can use them in numerous ways. One way is to team up with others who know what their strengths are and engage in activities that are in line with each team participant’s strengths. For instance, you might go on outings that highlight your strengths. Since I appreciate beauty and excellence, I may be inclined to go to a museum. I recommend you cultivate your strengths in your life every moment of everyday and this will lead you to the mindset it takes to feel better!
We can also use our strengths in times of happiness challenges. Remember a happiness challenge is something that arises in your life that makes you feel bad. When you come across an obstacle of feeling better, look to your strengths to see if you can overcome it. For instance if you are a victim of someone else’s road rage you can offer your strength of kindness instead of participating in that person’s road rage. In my case I know that in a time of strife I can reach for my gratitude tool to help me see what I am grateful for in that situation, or for my kindness tool to help me alleviate the stress of the situation. You can even use your strengths when coping with hardship or tragedy like having gratitude when someone close to you passes on. You can feel gratitude for the times you shared with that person or be grateful for them they are no longer suffering.
I encourage you to visit http://www.authentichappiness.com to take the VIA signature strengths survey to find out what is good about yourself :). Trust me, you will like the results!
After that, if you need help figuring out how you can use your strengths to achieve greater happiness, visit my self-help store for some great tools :).
*********************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speakerwww.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
My guess is not every day! We live in a society that is focused on what is wrong with us, what we need to fix about ourselves, things we can be better at.
Yet how much has such focusing on what's wrong with you helped you achieve greater happiness?
The great news is that there is another way that and it's blowing the traditional approach out of the water with its effectiveness!
It is called the Values in Action (VIA) Signature Strengths (Peterson & Seligman, 2003). This typology of strengths tells us what is good about ourselves instead of what is wrong with us, and then builds on our strengths. All of the concentration on the positive allows the ‘negative’ to become less visible in someone’s lives.
To the cynics out there, I know it may sound ignorant to concentrate on the positive and ignore the negative or the “problems”. Yet, there is plenty of scientific evidence yielding great results when employing this technique and it has had lasting success at the systemic, group and individual levels. I especially want to point to the groundbreaking dissertation research in 2007 of Dr. Jason Berman, which gives clear evidence showing that when we know our strengths and consider them in terms of our self-concept, we are indeed happier (Berman, 2007).
I was so excited when I found out that psychology could actually tell me what is good about myself! This field has done such a great job at analyzing what is wrong with us, it is about time they start looking at what is right! As soon as I could, I took that VIA test and below are my strengths:
Gratitude
Kindness & generosity
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
Curiosity and interest in the world
Hope, optimism and future mindedness
Since learning my strengths, I have felt a whole new sense of how I can be my best self. Gratitude for me was something I developed over the course my adult life, and it has become part of my everyday state of being. Knowing that I am kind and generous helps me to understand why I desire to help others, and why it makes me happy. Utilizing gratitude and kindness in your everyday life are two of the top methods that are used to increase happiness. Learning about my third strength, appreciation of beauty and excellence, made me understand why I enjoy the best in life. My curiosity and interest in the world keeps me from boredom or from judging others. Lastly, my fifth strength, of hope, optimism and future mindedness helps me to remember that there is a “light at the end of the tunnel” when times get rough. This strength helps me to inspire others to see the light at the end of the tunnel too.
Once we know what our strengths are, we can use them in numerous ways. One way is to team up with others who know what their strengths are and engage in activities that are in line with each team participant’s strengths. For instance, you might go on outings that highlight your strengths. Since I appreciate beauty and excellence, I may be inclined to go to a museum. I recommend you cultivate your strengths in your life every moment of everyday and this will lead you to the mindset it takes to feel better!
We can also use our strengths in times of happiness challenges. Remember a happiness challenge is something that arises in your life that makes you feel bad. When you come across an obstacle of feeling better, look to your strengths to see if you can overcome it. For instance if you are a victim of someone else’s road rage you can offer your strength of kindness instead of participating in that person’s road rage. In my case I know that in a time of strife I can reach for my gratitude tool to help me see what I am grateful for in that situation, or for my kindness tool to help me alleviate the stress of the situation. You can even use your strengths when coping with hardship or tragedy like having gratitude when someone close to you passes on. You can feel gratitude for the times you shared with that person or be grateful for them they are no longer suffering.
I encourage you to visit http://www.authentichappiness.com to take the VIA signature strengths survey to find out what is good about yourself :). Trust me, you will like the results!
After that, if you need help figuring out how you can use your strengths to achieve greater happiness, visit my self-help store for some great tools :).
*********************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speakerwww.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
How To Use Goal Setting To Achieve Happiness!
Goal-setting helps us achieve happiness!
When we have something in our lives we are working toward, our happiness is greatly enhanced. If you think about it, the happy people that you know probably have goals. I am not asking you to decide to be president or anything. Just choose a goal or two that you care to achieve, and figure out why you care so much about them. This consequently will play a role in you feeling better :).
At Stanford, Dr. Laura Cartensen’s (1995) research talks about how socio-emotional selectivity theory suggests that older people learn to structure their lives and pursue particular goals that maximize positive emotions. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) This is consistent with what I teach, which is that people can actually learn to increase their happiness to a sustainable level. Further support for this notion comes from results of a study by happiness researchers Dr. Sheldon and Dr. Kasser (2001), which showed that age-related increases in well-being are in part mediated by willful changes, including older people’s ability to select more enjoyable and self-appropriate goals. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) In other words, our elders have found a way to choose goals they enjoy and that fit appropriately with the things they care about in life. We need to learn to do this, too, and as soon as possible, because the sooner we figure it out, the closer we will be to feeling better!
Goal-setting has been a part of my life since childhood. I started playing soccer at the age of six and we were always taught to be the best players and the best team we could be. By the time I was fourteen, I made the Olympic development team, which further fueled my desire to be the best soccer player I could be. We were always having tryouts and games, and completing individual performance goals. I played soccer competitively until I was nineteen. So for those thirteen years the concept of goal-setting and goal-achieving was really imbedded in my daily life through school and athletics.
Now, I have a goal to help millions of people live happier lives. This goal helps fuel my energy, effort, passion, and devotion to my cause every day, so that I can do whatever I need to do to achieve this goal.
Of course this is a long-term goal, and this long-term goal has many short-term goals associated with it. The short-term goals include writing this blog, creating and starring in my vision of a prime-time network award winning show that teaches the audience how to be happy, teaching and performing happiness exercises in world organizations, i.e. the United Nations, World Bank, European Union, etc., I also plan to set up Happiness Centers in each country that are responsible for working to increase the country’s Gross National Happiness (GNH) Index...
As you can see, I have my work cut out for me and I am working to achieve those happiness goals every day and every minute of my life! Not only does this help me feel intrinsic motivation, I feel a sense of duty, fulfillment, and a deep sense of meaning and purpose.
And for those skeptics… of course, I experience setbacks and obstacles in my pursuit of those goals. As you know, the world is not a happy and glorious place all of the time. And even I experience ups and downs, two steps forward one step back in the daily work of achieving my goals. The important thing is how we choose to deal with those goal setbacks. If you really remain steadfast with your happiness decision, then you will respond to those setbacks with HAPPINESS! I know it sounds crazy, but just try it. Believe me it works.
If you think about it from the “setback’s” perspective -- let’s say the setback is in the form of another person, and well, let’s just imagine you always being jovial and courteous toward that other person -- what kind of response do you think you will get? Yet, what if you give someone anger, attitude and resentment? That’s right! It is a no brainer! Have you ever heard that saying, “What you put out you get back.”? That is the case here. Who wants to receive someone else’s anger, attitude, or resentment? Probably not you, definitely not me. Think about this from the receiver’s perspective. People do not need nor deserve the negative energy that comes with your ‘negative’, ‘low vibration’ emotions. Please think in terms of creating an ‘Upward Spiral’ every day, that is what will help you in sustaining your happiness. Let’s try to stay on the bright side of life, shall we?
So, are you ready to commit to some goals?!
Some of you still require more time, patience and persistence before you really commit to setting goals for your happiness. Some of you may need help to feel comfortable in alleviating the obstacle or setback you are experiencing right now.
If so, visit my self help store for some great tools to help you!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
When we have something in our lives we are working toward, our happiness is greatly enhanced. If you think about it, the happy people that you know probably have goals. I am not asking you to decide to be president or anything. Just choose a goal or two that you care to achieve, and figure out why you care so much about them. This consequently will play a role in you feeling better :).
At Stanford, Dr. Laura Cartensen’s (1995) research talks about how socio-emotional selectivity theory suggests that older people learn to structure their lives and pursue particular goals that maximize positive emotions. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) This is consistent with what I teach, which is that people can actually learn to increase their happiness to a sustainable level. Further support for this notion comes from results of a study by happiness researchers Dr. Sheldon and Dr. Kasser (2001), which showed that age-related increases in well-being are in part mediated by willful changes, including older people’s ability to select more enjoyable and self-appropriate goals. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) In other words, our elders have found a way to choose goals they enjoy and that fit appropriately with the things they care about in life. We need to learn to do this, too, and as soon as possible, because the sooner we figure it out, the closer we will be to feeling better!
Goal-setting has been a part of my life since childhood. I started playing soccer at the age of six and we were always taught to be the best players and the best team we could be. By the time I was fourteen, I made the Olympic development team, which further fueled my desire to be the best soccer player I could be. We were always having tryouts and games, and completing individual performance goals. I played soccer competitively until I was nineteen. So for those thirteen years the concept of goal-setting and goal-achieving was really imbedded in my daily life through school and athletics.
Now, I have a goal to help millions of people live happier lives. This goal helps fuel my energy, effort, passion, and devotion to my cause every day, so that I can do whatever I need to do to achieve this goal.
Of course this is a long-term goal, and this long-term goal has many short-term goals associated with it. The short-term goals include writing this blog, creating and starring in my vision of a prime-time network award winning show that teaches the audience how to be happy, teaching and performing happiness exercises in world organizations, i.e. the United Nations, World Bank, European Union, etc., I also plan to set up Happiness Centers in each country that are responsible for working to increase the country’s Gross National Happiness (GNH) Index...
As you can see, I have my work cut out for me and I am working to achieve those happiness goals every day and every minute of my life! Not only does this help me feel intrinsic motivation, I feel a sense of duty, fulfillment, and a deep sense of meaning and purpose.
And for those skeptics… of course, I experience setbacks and obstacles in my pursuit of those goals. As you know, the world is not a happy and glorious place all of the time. And even I experience ups and downs, two steps forward one step back in the daily work of achieving my goals. The important thing is how we choose to deal with those goal setbacks. If you really remain steadfast with your happiness decision, then you will respond to those setbacks with HAPPINESS! I know it sounds crazy, but just try it. Believe me it works.
If you think about it from the “setback’s” perspective -- let’s say the setback is in the form of another person, and well, let’s just imagine you always being jovial and courteous toward that other person -- what kind of response do you think you will get? Yet, what if you give someone anger, attitude and resentment? That’s right! It is a no brainer! Have you ever heard that saying, “What you put out you get back.”? That is the case here. Who wants to receive someone else’s anger, attitude, or resentment? Probably not you, definitely not me. Think about this from the receiver’s perspective. People do not need nor deserve the negative energy that comes with your ‘negative’, ‘low vibration’ emotions. Please think in terms of creating an ‘Upward Spiral’ every day, that is what will help you in sustaining your happiness. Let’s try to stay on the bright side of life, shall we?
So, are you ready to commit to some goals?!
Some of you still require more time, patience and persistence before you really commit to setting goals for your happiness. Some of you may need help to feel comfortable in alleviating the obstacle or setback you are experiencing right now.
If so, visit my self help store for some great tools to help you!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Achieve Radiating Beauty And Build Your Confidence!
When you feel beautiful, it gives you confidence. You know it does!
But what if you don't feel beautiful or confident?
But what if you don't feel beautiful or confident?
Let me tell you a story about how one girl developed her relationship with beauty and how it gave her unshakeable confidence in herself.
There was a girl who was twelve years old, she had zits all over her face, her hair was greasy and always in a lame hairstyle and she always wore the same three outfits over and over again. She was definitely not in the popular crowd. There was one girl in the popular crowd who would talk to her and was her friend, yet there was another girl in the popular crowd who always picked on her and put her down. This girl did not have a lot of confidence in herself.
Then the twelve year old girl turned fourteen, and her zits disappeared and she got a new hairstyle and the popular group started to talk to her. This girl then became friends with the popular group and kept her other group of friends too. She grew in her sense of confidence that had a lot to do with how others perceived her beauty. She was even sought after by modeling agencies.
When this girl turned nineteen she became overweight. She moved to Hollywood
Never being interested in acting, she pursued modeling more seriously. She hired a photographer and her goal was to model internationally. The two of them flew all over the world taking photographs to build her portfolio so she could model for top agencies.
She was invited to invitation only modeling competitions for top international agencies, From that event she ended up having representation in LA, New York , Miami , Atlanta , Chicago , and Detroit
She modeled for a few years in her early twenties and decided she needed to go back to college to finish her degree. After college, she moved to San Francisco
At this point, she was twenty five and noticed there was a shift in her self-esteem and her self-confidence. She posted up her old modeling photos so she remember her beauty. She new it was up to herself to build her self-esteem and self-confidence again. No one was going to do it for her. She trained herself to look in the mirror again and eventually she built up her self esteem and self confidence again.
This up and down back and forth experience with having beauty and not having beauty led to some deep realizations for this woman. She realized that beauty is on the inside no matter what her physical appearance may be. Zits will come and go, fat will come and go, acceptance by the popular group will come and go, professional opportunities will come and go….
What she can count on now is knowing that her beauty is not dependent on how skinny she is or how many zits she has on her face or if she has a cool haircut or if she is part of the cool crowd or if she is an international model
BECAUSE
Her beauty is on the inside. This beauty is unwavering for her and she will have it all of the time no matter what, no one can take it away from her. Knowing that this beauty is hers and no one can take it away, gives her the highest self-esteem and self-confidence that she can imagine.
This self-esteem and self-confidence created a magical switch in her daily experience. It propelled her to pursue and complete her PhD, start a business, have meetings at top television stations, pursue and achieve the relationship of her dreams and publish a book! Any guesses on who this woman is?
This self-esteem and self-confidence created a magical switch in her daily experience. It propelled her to pursue and complete her PhD, start a business, have meetings at top television stations, pursue and achieve the relationship of her dreams and publish a book! Any guesses on who this woman is?
You can develop your self-confidence and your self esteem just like this woman. It starts with the recognition of knowing only you can give yourself these powerful feelings of beauty, self-esteem, and self-confidence. As Diana LaSalle points out in her article on Feeling Beautiful, real beauty is so much more than your physical appearance!
Get in touch with the beauty of your heart, mind and soul. When you start to live this beauty, your body will reflect it out to the world and you will achieve a real radiating beauty that everyone will be able to see and feel! And yes, this will boost your confidence too :)!
Visit my Self-Help Store for tools to help you achieve real radiating beauty and build your confidence!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Get in touch with the beauty of your heart, mind and soul. When you start to live this beauty, your body will reflect it out to the world and you will achieve a real radiating beauty that everyone will be able to see and feel! And yes, this will boost your confidence too :)!
Visit my Self-Help Store for tools to help you achieve real radiating beauty and build your confidence!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Friday, March 16, 2012
4 Steps to Creating Sustainable Happiness in Your Family Relationships!
Have you ever had a fight with a family member? Were you happy when that fight occurred? Probably not. I mentioned briefly that I grew up in a loving supportive family environment. However, you know as well as I do that we all have our tiffs! So what can you do to ensure that these tiffs remain tiffs and do not escalate to become explosions?
What are the happiness tools we can apply in these situations?
• Forgiveness
• Letting Go
• Accepting Imperfection as Perfection
• Conscious Positivity
Forgiveness is a HUGE aspect of sustainable happiness. Imagine living your life full of resentments and grudges. Can you possibly be happy all of the time? No way! So we have to learn how to forgive others who have “wronged” us in one way or another.
In 2001, research by Dr. LorenToussaint and her colleagues showed that self-forgiveness and other forms of forgiveness are inversely related to psychological distress and that forgiveness of others was related to higher overall life satisfaction. Even earlier, though, in 1992, a research team including Dr. Paul Mauger, had found that forgiveness of self and others was inversely related to psychopathology. This means that if you can forgive yourself and others, you are less likely to experience a psychological disorder and consequently will be happier! Another study by, done by Tangney, Fee, & Lee in 1999, showed that when we tend to forgive others, we are less likely to experience depressive symptoms and hostility. A study by Dr. Freedman and Dr. Enright, in 1996, proved that symptoms of anxiety, depression, and anger have also been shown to decline for an individual after that individual forgives another. And yet another study, this one done by Dr. Fincham in 2000, shows a positive relationship between forgiveness and overall relationship satisfaction. So more and more we are seeing studies proving how forgiveness can enhance the quality of our relationships, not to mention our lives as a whole.
Now that you understand that forgiveness is vital to your sustainable happiness, what is forgiveness anyway? Forgiveness is the freely chosen motivational transformation in which a desire to see revenge and to avoid contact with a transgressor is lessened, a process sometimes described as an altruistic gift. (Enright, Freedman, & Rique, 1998; Worthington, 2001) Researchers have not been able to find agreement when it comes to determining whether forgiveness requires a positive action or a benevolent response (such as compassion, empathy, affection, approach behavior) in relation to the offender, or if the absence of a negative response (hostility, anger, avoidance) is sufficient. (Exline, Worthington, Hill, & McCullough, 2003; Fincham, 2000; Linley & Joseph, 2004)
The funny thing is that there actually is a scientifically proven disconnect between researchers and the rest of us in terms of how forgiveness is perceived. This was found in research done by Dr. Kantz in 2000, which showed that lay people believe reconciliation to be a necessary part of forgiveness — an element that is explicitly rejected by many definitions of forgiveness used for research purposes.
It is here that I ask you to choose the definition of forgiveness that is right for, and feels good to, you. We can only look to our heart for our personal guidance on this one.
I learned the power of forgiveness on a family vacation. This was my first family vacation as an adult for many years. During the time that I was with my family many happiness challenges arose for me. After the family vacation, I was reflecting on how I can make the most of my family relationships and the major lessons I gleaned was the value of forgiveness, letting go and conscious positivity.
Your family will be in your life forever, if you let them. Flesh and blood counts for something, and these relationships are built on a foundation of unconditional love. Given the main premise of your family relationship is unconditional love, understanding how you can manage your family in a positive way is very helpful in creating your sustainable happiness.
Letting go has only recently become a topic of research in psychology. According to Dr. Ainsworth-Smith & Dr. Speck (1982), “Letting go can imply being gently drawn into a new sort of existence; or being released or dragged into a void where nothing is safe or nothing consistent.” (p. 35) The Oxford Dictionary says that letting go is to “release, set at liberty, lose hold of, relinquish hold of, dismiss from thought, or cease to restrain.” The two main themes are a sense of liberation and a sense of loss. It appears to imply that letting go is to change something by moving it from one position to another. For the purpose of your sustainable happiness, think about letting go as liberation.
Also, the more positive actions, behaviors, and language are incorporated into the family dynamic, the more positive that dynamic will be. Imagine if everyone in your family were to consistently give you compliments and encouragement, or simply tell you “Hey, you were right”? How good would that feel? Or if you were to consistently give compliments and encouragement to them? It would feel good, right? You do not have to wait for your family to come around and employ the principles of forgiveness, letting go, and being positive. You can take action yourself, right now!
Here is an inspirational story from one of my friends about her experience of letting go with her mother.
Something must be in the air, because I had the most incredible visit with my mom last week!
It was the best time we've ever had together. The week before she arrived, I made a conscious choice to lay down my role that I've played so often with her, that of teacher/parent/coach (what is it with us gals???). What a relief...for both of us!!! Whenever I noticed the inclination to take on that role, I simply contained myself and it passed. Without that dynamic, I was so much more available to love my mom as she is. The last morning of her visit, I gave her the most extraordinary foot bath with rose scented, flower petaled water, massage, a foot mask and lots of kissing. At one point she said to me that she doesn't know if she could've done this for her mother (who died last August). I responded by saying how happy I am to be able to do this for her.
It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO AMAZING! We've shattered the pattern that's been passed on for who knows how many generations of withholding love between mother & daughter. I am SOOOOO grateful to be able to share my love with my mom and to really feel her receiving it. That's all I really wanted to do when I took on the role of teacher/parent/coach, but didn't know how to just love her. I'm so grateful for her willingness to receive my love and to feel her love for me. It was such a precious time we spent together.
Such a burden has been lifted from my heart and now I just feel love for her. It's like we get to be little girls together in a strange sort of way...just playing & loving...wwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!.
Love to each one of you & to your mamas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Family plays such a huge part in our sustainable happiness. We have to acknowledge and accept that everyone has their flaws and it is the beauty of our human experience. To accept the ‘im’perfection in ourselves, our parents and siblings is one of our lessons in life. We achieve this when we can fully give and receive unconditional love. And unconditional love is achieved through forgiveness and letting go; all of which are huge players in our sustainable happiness.
Need more help or inspiration to bring happiness into your relationships?
Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help you on your way to health and happy relationships!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
What are the happiness tools we can apply in these situations?
• Forgiveness
• Letting Go
• Accepting Imperfection as Perfection
• Conscious Positivity
Forgiveness is a HUGE aspect of sustainable happiness. Imagine living your life full of resentments and grudges. Can you possibly be happy all of the time? No way! So we have to learn how to forgive others who have “wronged” us in one way or another.
In 2001, research by Dr. LorenToussaint and her colleagues showed that self-forgiveness and other forms of forgiveness are inversely related to psychological distress and that forgiveness of others was related to higher overall life satisfaction. Even earlier, though, in 1992, a research team including Dr. Paul Mauger, had found that forgiveness of self and others was inversely related to psychopathology. This means that if you can forgive yourself and others, you are less likely to experience a psychological disorder and consequently will be happier! Another study by, done by Tangney, Fee, & Lee in 1999, showed that when we tend to forgive others, we are less likely to experience depressive symptoms and hostility. A study by Dr. Freedman and Dr. Enright, in 1996, proved that symptoms of anxiety, depression, and anger have also been shown to decline for an individual after that individual forgives another. And yet another study, this one done by Dr. Fincham in 2000, shows a positive relationship between forgiveness and overall relationship satisfaction. So more and more we are seeing studies proving how forgiveness can enhance the quality of our relationships, not to mention our lives as a whole.
Now that you understand that forgiveness is vital to your sustainable happiness, what is forgiveness anyway? Forgiveness is the freely chosen motivational transformation in which a desire to see revenge and to avoid contact with a transgressor is lessened, a process sometimes described as an altruistic gift. (Enright, Freedman, & Rique, 1998; Worthington, 2001) Researchers have not been able to find agreement when it comes to determining whether forgiveness requires a positive action or a benevolent response (such as compassion, empathy, affection, approach behavior) in relation to the offender, or if the absence of a negative response (hostility, anger, avoidance) is sufficient. (Exline, Worthington, Hill, & McCullough, 2003; Fincham, 2000; Linley & Joseph, 2004)
The funny thing is that there actually is a scientifically proven disconnect between researchers and the rest of us in terms of how forgiveness is perceived. This was found in research done by Dr. Kantz in 2000, which showed that lay people believe reconciliation to be a necessary part of forgiveness — an element that is explicitly rejected by many definitions of forgiveness used for research purposes.
It is here that I ask you to choose the definition of forgiveness that is right for, and feels good to, you. We can only look to our heart for our personal guidance on this one.
I learned the power of forgiveness on a family vacation. This was my first family vacation as an adult for many years. During the time that I was with my family many happiness challenges arose for me. After the family vacation, I was reflecting on how I can make the most of my family relationships and the major lessons I gleaned was the value of forgiveness, letting go and conscious positivity.
Your family will be in your life forever, if you let them. Flesh and blood counts for something, and these relationships are built on a foundation of unconditional love. Given the main premise of your family relationship is unconditional love, understanding how you can manage your family in a positive way is very helpful in creating your sustainable happiness.
Letting go has only recently become a topic of research in psychology. According to Dr. Ainsworth-Smith & Dr. Speck (1982), “Letting go can imply being gently drawn into a new sort of existence; or being released or dragged into a void where nothing is safe or nothing consistent.” (p. 35) The Oxford Dictionary says that letting go is to “release, set at liberty, lose hold of, relinquish hold of, dismiss from thought, or cease to restrain.” The two main themes are a sense of liberation and a sense of loss. It appears to imply that letting go is to change something by moving it from one position to another. For the purpose of your sustainable happiness, think about letting go as liberation.
Also, the more positive actions, behaviors, and language are incorporated into the family dynamic, the more positive that dynamic will be. Imagine if everyone in your family were to consistently give you compliments and encouragement, or simply tell you “Hey, you were right”? How good would that feel? Or if you were to consistently give compliments and encouragement to them? It would feel good, right? You do not have to wait for your family to come around and employ the principles of forgiveness, letting go, and being positive. You can take action yourself, right now!
Here is an inspirational story from one of my friends about her experience of letting go with her mother.
Something must be in the air, because I had the most incredible visit with my mom last week!
It was the best time we've ever had together. The week before she arrived, I made a conscious choice to lay down my role that I've played so often with her, that of teacher/parent/coach (what is it with us gals???). What a relief...for both of us!!! Whenever I noticed the inclination to take on that role, I simply contained myself and it passed. Without that dynamic, I was so much more available to love my mom as she is. The last morning of her visit, I gave her the most extraordinary foot bath with rose scented, flower petaled water, massage, a foot mask and lots of kissing. At one point she said to me that she doesn't know if she could've done this for her mother (who died last August). I responded by saying how happy I am to be able to do this for her.
It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO AMAZING! We've shattered the pattern that's been passed on for who knows how many generations of withholding love between mother & daughter. I am SOOOOO grateful to be able to share my love with my mom and to really feel her receiving it. That's all I really wanted to do when I took on the role of teacher/parent/coach, but didn't know how to just love her. I'm so grateful for her willingness to receive my love and to feel her love for me. It was such a precious time we spent together.
Such a burden has been lifted from my heart and now I just feel love for her. It's like we get to be little girls together in a strange sort of way...just playing & loving...wwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!.
Love to each one of you & to your mamas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Family plays such a huge part in our sustainable happiness. We have to acknowledge and accept that everyone has their flaws and it is the beauty of our human experience. To accept the ‘im’perfection in ourselves, our parents and siblings is one of our lessons in life. We achieve this when we can fully give and receive unconditional love. And unconditional love is achieved through forgiveness and letting go; all of which are huge players in our sustainable happiness.
Need more help or inspiration to bring happiness into your relationships?
Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help you on your way to health and happy relationships!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Laugh Your Way to Health & Happiness!
You want to know something funny? Recently I was getting criticized for laughing too much! Isn’t that a hoot?
The thought that someone can laugh too much or smile too much is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. To make sure I wasn’t in danger of anything except feelings of happiness, I decided to bring in some laughter experts to my radio show on Advice Radio.
As a happiness expert, I have to laugh and smile because those are two essential ingredients for sustainable happiness. Lately I’ve been laughing and smiling for no reason at all – just forcing out a chuckle whenever I felt like chuckling or smiling whenever I felt like smiling – and I’m happier because of it.
I’ve found that a lot of people are attached to the idea that there must be something to laugh at or about in order for laughter to be socially acceptable. I don’t agree, and I’m not alone. With laughter clubs, laughter yoga and laughter therapy, more and more people are discovering that a good laugh doesn’t need a good punch line to come first.
The thought that someone can laugh too much or smile too much is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. To make sure I wasn’t in danger of anything except feelings of happiness, I decided to bring in some laughter experts to my radio show on Advice Radio.
As a happiness expert, I have to laugh and smile because those are two essential ingredients for sustainable happiness. Lately I’ve been laughing and smiling for no reason at all – just forcing out a chuckle whenever I felt like chuckling or smiling whenever I felt like smiling – and I’m happier because of it.
I’ve found that a lot of people are attached to the idea that there must be something to laugh at or about in order for laughter to be socially acceptable. I don’t agree, and I’m not alone. With laughter clubs, laughter yoga and laughter therapy, more and more people are discovering that a good laugh doesn’t need a good punch line to come first.
The benefits of laughter are so remarkable that people skip the jokes and go right to the laughter!
If you are feeling resistance to the idea of laughing just for the sake of laughing and you really need something to laugh at, laugh at yourself. If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can?
Try conducting your own research study on happiness. Laugh at least 20 times a day for 5 days in a row and see if you feel happier. It’ll be the funniest thing you’ll do all week!
If you are feeling resistance to the idea of laughing just for the sake of laughing and you really need something to laugh at, laugh at yourself. If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can?
Try conducting your own research study on happiness. Laugh at least 20 times a day for 5 days in a row and see if you feel happier. It’ll be the funniest thing you’ll do all week!
Still not convinced? Check out the recently published article on HelpGuide.org entitled "Laughter is the Best Medicine". Yes, not only will laughter and humor help you feel happier, it will also move you towards better health. It is strong medicine, especially if you share the laughter with others!
So go on, don't take yourself so seriously :). Make the decision to bring more humor and laughter into your life -- it is your birthright!
Need more help or inspiration to bring laughter into your life?
Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help you laugh your way to health and happiness!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help you laugh your way to health and happiness!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Q: Don't we have the Pursuit of Happiness?
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty
--United States Declaration of Independence
--
When our country’s founding fathers decided to write a letter declaring their autonomy, they demonstrably stated that human beings are entitled to three things: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Life and liberty we all understand, but the pursuit of happiness, as a universal right of human beings, is not something we give enough attention to. We are, in some regards, mandated to pursue our own happiness. We have an ethical responsibility, a national duty, a birthright, to be happy.
Life and liberty we all understand, but the pursuit of happiness, as a universal right of human beings, is not something we give enough attention to. We are, in some regards, mandated to pursue our own happiness. We have an ethical responsibility, a national duty, a birthright, to be happy.
Everyone wants us to be happy – our parents, our friends, our co-workers, even our founding fathers. Sometimes we turn to money to make us happy, sometimes we turn to people or relationships. We chase our tail trying to find something that will fulfill our manifest destiny and make us happy, but all the while the opportunity to be happy – and the responsibility for it – rests squarely within each one of us.
Try thinking about your happiness from the perspective of other people. Do they feel a responsibility for your happiness? No. Do they have a perfect understanding of what will make you happy in this moment or the next? No. They have no idea what truly makes you happy, so it’s not fair to put the responsibility of your lasting happiness on them.
Our circumstances are not always in our control, and even if we arrange our lives in a way that will "make us happy," – BAM! – something happens. We get a divorce, we get fired, our parent dies, we are diagnosed with cancer, life just happens to us. So what can we depend on to make us happy if our circumstances are outside of our control? Ourselves. That is it. You are ethically responsible for your sustainable happiness.
Empower yourself to be happy. Start down the path to lasting happiness by asking yourself:
Try thinking about your happiness from the perspective of other people. Do they feel a responsibility for your happiness? No. Do they have a perfect understanding of what will make you happy in this moment or the next? No. They have no idea what truly makes you happy, so it’s not fair to put the responsibility of your lasting happiness on them.
Our circumstances are not always in our control, and even if we arrange our lives in a way that will "make us happy," – BAM! – something happens. We get a divorce, we get fired, our parent dies, we are diagnosed with cancer, life just happens to us. So what can we depend on to make us happy if our circumstances are outside of our control? Ourselves. That is it. You are ethically responsible for your sustainable happiness.
Empower yourself to be happy. Start down the path to lasting happiness by asking yourself:
- Am I speaking my truth and listening to my heart?
- Am I using my strengths?
- Am I feeling a sense of meaning and purpose?
Taking it upon yourself to be happy, accepting responsibility for your own happiness, is your duty. So go on, pursue sustainable happiness!
Dr. Aymee
For more information, comments, or questions contact Dr. Aymee at http://www.draymee.com/.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Q: How Can I be happy if I suffer from Depression?
"I believe most depressions are the consequence, to varying degrees, of the way we think about ourselves and the world, and the strategies we have developed for coping with life. For this type of depression, I believe it is possible that programs such as yours, which are directed at non-pharmacological interventions, if conscientiously practiced and applied, could be just as effective as medications."
- Walter Jacobson, MD
Diplomat of the American Psychiatric Association
Northridge, CA
- Walter Jacobson, MD
Diplomat of the American Psychiatric Association
Northridge, CA
I am not asking you to ignore your problems or be happy about them while being a blind optimist. I am offering a method of being happy in the face of adversity so you can handle the situation like the cool calm firefighter in the mist of the fire.
FACTS:
Treatments for depression are often ineffective. In fact, according to the National Institute of Health most people who are depressed seek 3 to 5 different types of treatment to help themselves.
Lost productive time among U.S. workers due to depression is estimated to be in excess of $44 billion per year.
The Center for Disease Control states that antidepressants are one of the 3 most frequently prescribed therapeutic drug classes in the United States.
Potential side effect of depression is suicide.
Problem: The facts look bleak.
In the last dozen years, there has been more research and new knowledge about happiness and how to develop it.
The American Psychology Association adopted this new branch in 1998 founded by former President of the APA, Dr. Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania.
Latest Research:
We can create an upward spiral (instead of a downward spiral) if we have a 3 to 1 positive/negative emotional experience.
Your happiness is spread through the theory of emotional contagion up to 3 degrees of separation of every single person you look at, email with and talk to.
Your happiness is in your own hands, and positive psychology can teach you different techniques that will enhance your levels of well-being.
Problem: If it is so great? How come it is not offered anywhere besides, Stanford, UC Berkeley, University of Pennsylvania, University of Michigan, and Claremont University? Why have I never heard of it? I am still suffering from depression.
Solution: Positive Psychology is being taught openly on the internet for everyone to have access to the very solution of how depression can be treated once and for all.
Because you have taken the time to read this blog entry, and you have an obvious interest in feeling better or addressing your depression in a new way, I will give you the 5 steps that I have found to be the most effective in teaching others how to be sustainably happy regardless of where they are in on the happiness scale.
Before I go ahead and give you the secrets you have been waiting for, I want to commiserate with you.
Depression is not your fault.
You were taught no other way than to be dependent on external situations for your well-being.
The United States says follow the pursuit of happiness! Find the right person, place, thing and circumstance in your life, and then you will be happy. Achieve your goals, and then you will be happy. Popular messages of happiness are leading people into these ideas that compromise self responsibility when it comes to feeling good.
Once I have a lovable spouse, then I’ll be happy.
Once I am financially secure, then I’ll be happy.
Once I am recognized as a leader in my community, I will be happy.
Once I have children to love me back, I will be happy.
Once I go on vacation, I will be happy.
Once I obtain my advanced degree, I will be happy.
Once I have a well paying job, I will be happy.
This is a paradigm shift.
In fact, most people hold everything to make them happy!
If no one or nothing else can create a frequent positive mood, deep inner contentment, or achieve states of bliss and joy inside of you, you have to count on yourself to do the work and learn the science just like you learned how to tie your shoes or learned 2 + 2. Everyday you tie your shoes and everyday you use 2 + 2 (just in a more advanced way, of course).
We have come to a point where science truly can teach us how to be happier. Can someone please start by teaching happiness to depressed people for a fraction on what is spent on depression disability annually, which is an excess of $44 billion dollars?!
Problem: If positive psychology is everything it says it is, (which I for one, someone who has direct experience in teaching it, agree) then why is it unavailable to most people?
Solution: Positive Psychology is available to everyone in the world via my channel, How to be Happy with Dr. Aymee, on Spreecast.com, my channel, Happy Aymee, on youtube.com, and though my Mp3 audio lessons and e-courses through my online store.
Most people are surprised when I tell them, we can eliminate depression, anxiety, ADHD, and stress. I am inviting you to experience happiness science. Then you can determine if you have eliminated your depression, anxiety, ADHD and stress for yourself.
Until then I am sure you will sit in disbelief and resistance to something that really may be “too good to be true”.
What do you have to lose if you adopt happiness science in your daily practice?
I can teach you how to take charge of your own happiness, create a positive mood whenever you want, be resilient, foster deep inner contentment/fulfillment, and even achieve states of bliss and joy!
Would it be nice to have that experience?
Would it be nice to have the total freedom, which comes with the fact that you can now create a positive emotional experience for yourself? The freedom of knowing no one else or nothing else can take your happiness away from you.
Below is an endorsement by Walter Jacobson, M.D., Psychiatrist, and Diplomat of the American Psychiatry Association who experienced my Happiness Makeover training program. In this endorsement, he agrees that putting the practice exercises of positive psychology on a daily basis does in fact create sustainable happiness.
Walter E. Jacobson, MD
Diplomat, American Board of Psychiatry & Neurology
18300 Roscoe Blvd, IFL Tower, 4th Floor
Northridge, California 91328
(818) 885-8500, ext. 3724
(818) 727-1451 (fax)
September 18, 2009
Dear Aymee,
I want to formally congratulate you on putting together a sustainable life improvement program, your "Happiness Makeover," that is extremely effective.
It is the transformative regimen that you teach and coach in the consultation sessions that gives people cognitive-behavioral tools and mind-body-spirit routines which, if they practice consistently, daily, will take them on a path of self-discovery and growth, the by-products of which are sustainable happiness and inner peace.
Your curriculum is, indeed, an excellent one. During the three months of my own Happiness Makeover, I found myself truly becoming happier. I felt more energized and motivated to pursue my life goals.
More valuable than that, the experience helped me to clarify my life goals, in the sense that your program encourages people to look at core strengths and values, and it encourages people to discover their authenticity, to become the fullness of who they are.
I find myself now, after a month out of the program, continuing to enjoy the benefits of the program. My attitude about life, work, and people, has improved. I see my life as an adventure unfolding, which is exciting, especially compared to my previous feeling about my life which was "It's pretty good, could be better, getting through it."
As you can see, I am an extremely satisfied customer. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Walter E. Jacobson, MD
P.S.
In one of our collegial conversations you posed a question as to whether I believed a program like yours could take the place of an antidepressant. To best answer that I first need to clarify my position about depression.
There are many different types. One type is the result of a pure chemical imbalance in the brain that has nothing to do with the way people think, the way people perceive themselves and the world, or the circumstances that happen to them. In this type of depression it comes down to the brain having a chemical/physiological disorder which a medication can correct.
I would not make the case with this type of depression that a Happiness Makeover, a CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) program, or any non-pharmacological program, would deliver the results that psychotropic medications would.
However, this scenario, in my opinion, makes up the smallest category of depression. I believe most depressions are a consequence, to varying degrees, of the way we think about ourselves and the world, and the strategies we have developed for coping with life.
For this type of depression, I believe it is possible that programs such as yours, which are directed at non-pharmacological interventions, if conscientiously practiced and applied, could be just as effective as medications.
Walter E Jacobson, MD
I will briefly provide you with the 5 steps to sustainable happiness and offer you a video with a deeper explanation....
Five steps to sustainable happiness
1. Happiness Decision
2. Happiness boosters
3. Happiness Challenges
4. Heart based maps
5. Faith
All in all, I am compassionate for the suffering you have endured from your depression. I understand that depression is a specific, personal, and multifaceted, condition. The video above is only a beginning into the process of the hard work it takes to feel better using happiness science. I would like to inspire you to be open to the possibility that you can end your suffering from depression.
Aymee
For more information, comments, or questions contact Dr. Aymee at http://www.blogger.com/www.draymee.com.
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