Monday, August 15, 2011

Q: How can I be happy when I am unlovable and unworthy of happiness?

A: Awww....

This is a great question!  You know how many people are in your shoes?  Probably all of my clients over the years have felt this at some point.

I am about to demystify this for you.

First of all, YOU ARE LOVABLE and you ARE WORTHY of happiness!

Something probably happened to you between the ages of 0-6 where you thought maybe this was true.

Perhaps, your parents left you with a baby sitter, perhaps you had a younger sibling born, perhaps you were not chosen for the neighborhood kickball team?

Who knows? 

So this incident has scarred your subconscious and you have been telling yourself this your whole life!

See, if you take a deeper look at this, is it really true that you are not lovable or don’t deserve to be happy?

Come on!  Of course you are!!!

Simply by being born and breathing you are lovable and worthy of happiness.

I call this the rider and elephant phenomenon.

Your elephant is what is developed as your subconscious from ages 0-6.

Your rider is you conscious who is reading this blog post right now, however your elephant is in the room. 

You rider has to steer your elephant toward the thought direction that will lead you into your upward spiral.

You are old enough to choose your beliefs right?

So in psychology we operate with a belief-thought-emotion- behavior model.

If your thought is I am unlovable, go ahead and ask your heart, what is the root belief behind this thought and wait for a response.

When your heart reveals your core root belief under this thought, challenge it! 

Ask, “Is this really true?”

I am willing to bet anything that the belief that surfaces is a flat out lie!

So your elephant has been operating on false beliefs for how long?

Times need to change, you need to consciously choose a belief that kickstarts your upward spiral, leads to a thought that is supportive of your happiness, which therefore is going to make you feel happy and consequently you may be smiling.

We have totally changed your psychological understanding of the idea that you are not lovable and don’t deserve happiness.

You can consciously choose your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors so they lead to you feeling good in your life.

I call this exercise, weeding out your garden of happiness of negative beliefs.

Happiness is work, just like everything, so you may as well start by weeding out your garden of happiness of negative beliefs right now!

Dr. Aymee

Dr. Aymee Coget, Sustainable Happiness Expert, founder of The Happiness Makeover™ Training Program offers services and products on how to become happier at . Ask questions and visit her on FB or twitter @draymee or her blog 

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