Showing posts with label i'm unhappy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i'm unhappy. Show all posts

Friday, June 22, 2012

How To Un-Break Your Heart :-)!

Are you suffering because of a broken heart? 

Break-ups can be really devastating, and unfortunately most of us don't know how to deal with it!

The good news is that I have devised a simple and effective formula to help you un-break your heart!

Watch this recording of a San Francisco Happiness Club meeting where I lead our members through the process.







Need more help or inspiration un-breaking your heart? Visit my self-help store! 


I also welcome you to leave any questions or comments you have in the comments box below :)!


*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 



Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011. 
 




Sunday, May 27, 2012

Happy For Over 20 Years Straight :-)!

Watch & learn from Bob Nozik, author of 'Happy 4 Life: Here's How To Do It!'.


He is a man who has been happy for over 20 years straight! 


In this Spreecast interview with Dr. Aymee he shares his story of how he achieved lasting happiness & gives great tips for how you can do it too :)!






Feeling inspired? Need more help to become Happy 4 Life? Visit my self-help store for some great tools :)!                 

*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 



Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011. 
  

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The 1st Step To Creating Your Happy Profession!

Do you hate your job?  


Let me guess: You did or did not go to college and you found yourself stumbling around and haphazardly deciding on your profession.   


Instead of continuing to allow your experiences, education, parents and other outside circumstances to dictate your professional decisions, wouldn't you like to know how to make CHOICES FROM YOUR HEART?   


I have designed a format to help people learn how to create their most perfectly happy profession, step by step based on Hackman and Oldham’s (1976) Job Characteristics Model. Below is a brief lesson from Wikipedia on what this Job Characteristics Model is all about…   


The Job Characteristics model (JCM) proposed by Richard Hackman and Greg Oldham in 1976 is a very influential model of job enrichment which attempts to address how a core set of job characteristics impact a number of psychological states, leading to specific related outcomes in the work environment.  This model has five core job characteristics: skill variety, task significance, task identity, autonomy and feedback. The psychological states included in the model are meaningfulness of work, responsibility for outcomes and knowledge of results. Outcomes consist of high intrinsic motivation, high job performance, high job satisfaction and low absenteeism/turnover. 


According to Hackman & Oldham’s model, skill variety, task significance and task identity are used in the work environment to stimulate meaningfulness and produce outcomes of both or either high intrinsic motivation and high job performance. Therefore, if employees feel they are fully utilizing a variety of their skills, their job affects many people to a great extent and they are allowed to complete the task from beginning to end, it is likely they will perceive the job as meaningful, leading to high job performance and/or high intrinsic motivation. 


The presence of autonomy in the workforce leads to the psychological state of felt responsibility for outcomes, resulting in high job satisfaction. Thus, if employees are able to determine the method or approach in which the work is accomplished they feel responsible for the end product and are therefore more satisfied with what they have accomplished, less likely to quit (turnover) and also more likely to attend work (low absenteeism). Autonomy is contrasted by being told what to do and the manner in which to do it. 


The last core job characteristic, feedback produces a psychological state in which employees develop knowledge of their results, producing outcomes similar to autonomy (high job satisfaction, low turnover/absenteeism). In other words, knowing how you are performing and being aware that superiors know how you are performing leads to more job satisfaction, less absenteeism and turnover.   


Does that sound good to you?  I hope so! Take the first step to creating your happy profession -- Put On Your Gandhi Hat!   


For those who do not know of Mahatma Gandhi (October 2, 1869 – January 30, 1948), he is one of the greatest leaders of our past.  Mahatma Gandhi (məhatma; from Sanskrit, mahātmā: Great Soul), also known as Bapu (in Gujarati, Overweighther), was a major political and spiritual leader of India and the Indian independence movement. In India, he is recognized as the Overweighther of the Nation. October 2nd, his birthday, is commemorated each year as Gandhi Jayanti, and is a national holiday. He was the pioneer of Satyagraha—the resistance of tyranny through mass civil disobedience, firmly founded upon ahimsa or total non-violence—which led India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. (Wikipedia, 2007)   


This man was the inspiration to many, I want you to think about yourself in his shoes. How would it feel, what would it look like, what would you be doing? What would give you so much meaning in life to go to the lengths that he went?  What would this purpose be? Envision that you are living your life with an exclamation point!  Others will always remember you for this (fill in the blank), because you did it so well and accomplished so much!   


One of Gandhi’s more famous quotes is “Be the change you want to see in the world.”   Please reflect on this.  (Reflection is a fancy word for “mulling it over.”)  What is the change you would want to see in the world?  Embrace that, become that. I chose to become a happy, loving, accepting, healthy, peaceful person who helps others which is what I would like to see everyone look like in our world.  After we make the decision to be the change we want to see in the world, it is imperative to learn how to accomplish and uphold that decision.   Take some time now to describe the changes you would like to see in the world in writing. What does that look like for yourself?  Describe yourself using those characteristics. 




For more great tools and ideas to help you create your perfect, happy profession, visit my self-help store!


*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 



Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011. 
  

Friday, May 11, 2012

How To Create Your Happy Life :-)!

A wonderful woman, Sandy Weiner, who has a very decorated educational and professional resume in the area of leadership, sent the following visioning exercise to me that I adjusted for you.  The first step in creating your vision for a happy life is to find a trusted companion and a quiet room where you can be relaxed.  Have the person read to you the following visioning exercise.

To the reader: read the following passage closely and with positive intention, allowing the visualizer the time to relax and visualize.

Visioning Exercise
Speak slowly, in a warm voice….
(For about one minute)
Sit comfortably with your feet resting on the ground, your hands resting comfortably on your lap.
Take a deep breath and relax.
Now take another deep breath and relax even further.
You may notice that there are places in your body that are stressed or tight. Just notice them…. and then let them go.

Continue to breathe comfortably….
As thoughts occur,…. just notice them… and let them go

Say in a slowly paced, clear, and relaxed voice….
Imagine that you are walking along a seashore… The sun is shining and you can feel the sun’s warmth on your body.  Continue to walk along the seashore. .. and relax….

Notice a door ahead of you. Open the door. There are stairs going down… Slowly descend the stairs …counting as you go…

1…. 2….…3…….4……5…….6……7……8………9……10

When you reach the landing notice that there is another door in front of you.   On the door it says …. My Future Happy Life. It is a very beautiful door and you reach out with warmth and excitement to open the door and walk inside.

It is a movie theater and you notice that the movie playing is an exciting one -- 'My Happy Life looking back from the future  to now'…. You take your seat in the theater and watch the movie.  It is a very interesting movie, showing scenes of how you have progressed and grown happier and happier over the past years… You have taken a proactive stance in your happiness ….    What institutions are you happily a part of?   What type of people are around you?  What types of conversations are they having?…. What does your home environment look like? Notice the people around you…. The types of things you are doing….   What gets you excited…… How you spend your day…..Note what role you play….. What types of sentences, phrases, and words come up in your speech?  What are you proud of? What are your habits?  What does being you feel like?…  What else stands out for you?  … What do others say about you? About your happiness?….How does it feel to hear these things? ....What are you doing for fun? ....What gives you flow in your life?  …. What in your happy life stands out so much?

NOTE to the reader: leave time for each image to appear…. You may want to suggest that visualizers jot down what they are seeing on the paper in front of them and then go back to the movie until they are finished.  Allow 5 - 10 minutes… repeating focal points as listed above or others every 15 - 20 seconds. When you feel ready to move on… say:

Now, it is time to end the movie and return to the present…. please close your eyes, notice your breathing again… and find yourself leaving the movie theater… exiting out the door and returning up the steps, counting 10…. 9….. 8…7…… 6….  Take a deep breath and begin to feel your body waken….. 5….4…..3….  notice the sounds in the room around you….. 2…. 1 ….

Open your eyes and slowly look around…. When you feel comfortable, please either write or draw as much of your vision of your future as you can. …. describing what your happy life will be like in the future. You may need to close your eyes briefly to remember parts…..   Try to make your description as whole as possible.

Amazing!  I hope what you saw in your visualization was amazing and eye opening to possibilities you never thought possible.

Someone once said that when we achieve our goals we will be happy.  When we have met the perfect person we will be happy or when we do the right things or have the right material items in our life we will be happy.  



This Is Wrong!  


All of these come to us easier when we are happy.  Please stop looking on the outside for other people, places and things to make you happy, just look inside of yourself.  That is where true lasting happiness lays waiting for you to access it.

The vision that just appeared for you is available to you, you just have to decide to make it happen!  If you write out your vision you'll find it that much easier to realize it. Start off with the questions below!

Who was with you?

What actions were you participating in?

What were your surroundings like?

What were the sentences coming from your mouth?

Describe how you were feeling.



Need more help with creating your happy life? Visit my self help store for some great tools!


*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 



Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011. 
  

Sunday, May 6, 2012

How To Increase Your Enjoyment of Every Moment :-)!

Mmmmmmm…….  

I want you to recall your last romantic moment.   
Now, recall the last really good meal you had.   
Recall the last time you were so happy you wanted to jump up and down.   
Now, recall the last hot sex you had.   


Mmmmmmm…….   


Have you smiled yet?  Can you feel the sensations in your body when you recall these delightful experiences? 


When you are in a moment of feeling not so hot, start recalling those past experiences.  Take yourself on a little vacation and bring those lovely memories to the front of your mind… Enjoy!     


In their book 'Savoring', Fred Bryant and Joseff Veroff (2006) suggest ways to learn to savor or to mindfully engage in thoughts or behaviors that heighten the effect of positive events on positive feelings. Bryant’s work also supports three temporal forms of Savoring:   
(1) Anticipatory 
(2) In the Moment 
(3) Reminiscent.   


This means you can savor a positive event before it happens by getting excited in preparation for it, you can savor the positive event as it occurs, and you can savor a positive event by remembering it :-).   


Nobel prize winner for his work on happiness, Daniel Kahneman, points out: “Humans plan for their future and use their past as a guide to their future (making) remembered or anticipated and integrated hedonic value a convenient shorthand for decision making...”   
This means that we are indeed guided by our happiness in decision making and we look to our past happiness experience to guide us into future happiness experiences. In other words, remembering happy moments of our past helps guide future decisions.   


When Miriam Ufberg, one of the first people to receive a Masters Degree in Positive Psychology, wrote an article in January of 2007 for the Positive Psychology News Daily on the topic of Savoring, she connected the concept to one of the corner stones of the science of happiness: Barbara Frederickson’s Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions (1998).  
Miriam says, “…positive emotions create an upward spiral in our experiences, emotions, relationships, mental capacities, etc. So by reconnecting with those positive emotions that we felt in the past, we can enhance our current mood and perceptions of current situations thereby creating even more positive emotions and experiences.”   


Our happiness researcher Sonja Lyubormirski helps prove the value of savoring by encouraging us to systematically analyze and structure the thoughts and feelings associated with the happiest moments in our lives.  Re-experiencing or savoring such moments (without attempting to find meaning or organization in them) is one way to preserve positive emotions and generally increase happiness.  Savoring definitely plays a role in our sustainable happiness.  


As the founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, says, "Savoring refers to our awareness of pleasure and our deliberate attempt to make it last and to make it more intense.”   


I find myself savoring the most after romantic moments.  I tend to put myself back in the situation and feel those butterflies over and over.  I also savor experiences that are mile marker achievements to my long-term goals.  I savor family vacations.  I savor my friend’s celebrations. I savor nice walks.  The bottom line is that I am encouraging you to spend some time savoring your positive experiences in life.  This will aid you in your developing the sustainable happiness you want in your life. 


So go on, write down the top ten best moments in your life to savor.  Pay close attention, taking enjoyment going over life’s pleasures and wonders.  Share your moments with someone.

Or Savor A Beautiful Day: Set aside a block of time—an hour, a half-day or a full day—to indulge in your favorite activities. Block that time on your calendar and do not let anything interfere. Next, carry out the activities just as you have planned them. Savor each activity by being completely aware of the pleasure it brings you. Log your experience.


Can you imagine the pleasure and happiness you will feel when you do the exercises I've mentioned above? Get excited about doing them now and savor this moment too :-)!


If you need more help to savor your way to happiness, visit my self-help store :-).

*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 



Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011. 
  

Sunday, April 22, 2012

'Shake And Bounce' Your Way To Happiness :-)!

So, I was thinking one day … If I didn’t have my body what would I have? NOTHING, I would be dead!

Taking care of our body is essential for happiness from a scientific, spiritual, and practical angle. It amazes me how many people ignore their bodies!

Someone once said, “Treat your body like a Temple” for a reason! I have heard many people say, “I don’t have the money for massage, the gym, organic food, etc.” Well, I was a student for ten years so my bank account has never been high.  Yet, when I had money, I invested in my Temple because it is the only temple I will ever have during my entire lifetime. Excuses are excuses. Be proactive with your body, love your body, nurture and protect your body, and it will serve you the best it can.

Exercise is an essential aspect of our self care. Surveys have shown that physically active people feel happier and more satisfied with life. (Biddle, 2000)  Dr. Biddle reports that this effect is seen in all age populations, no matter the health status and varying socioeconomic backgrounds.  It has also been proven that if you only exercise one time, you will experience an improvement in your mood!  So if you implement a regular exercise routine, you will be working toward your sustainable happiness.  Over one hundred and fifty studies have concluded that exercise does in fact reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety and increases overall happiness!

For my exercise I stand on a whole body vibration machine called Turbosonic for ten minutes four or five times a week.  This machine oxygenates my blood, cleans my lymph system, increases my serotonin, tones my muscles and eliminates fat! To learn where a Turbosonic machine is near you, go to http://turbosonicusa.com/index.php. Make sure you visit their research page to see all of the amazing studies that have proved its effectiveness and gained FDA approval.

If you do not have access to a Turbosonic machine, you can stand with your feet about a foot apart and your arms relaxed at each side, then shake your body vigorously for several minutes by pumping your legs up and down.  Dr. John Gray, calls this exercise, bounce and shake (2003).  It is quick and easy and anyone can do it anywhere at any time!  It is good in limited spaces, even airplanes.  There really is no excuse how to do one of these exercises whether you start using a Turbosonic or you start bouncing and shaking!  Every morning you could stand up and bounce and shake if you wanted to!

Dr. Gray explains that the bounce and shake exercise benefits in four ways:
The increased cellular vibration burns fat, tones muscles, and increases lean body mass.

While bouncing and shaking, you will also flex your spine in coordination with deeper than usual breathing.  The rhythmic flexing of the spine increases vitality and stimulates the healthy production of brain chemistry by pumping spinal fluid in and out of the brain.
The increased oxygen from the rhythmic breathing will also stimulate your metabolism to burn fat more efficiently during the day.

The gentle whole-body movement of bounce and shake stimulates the lymphatic system to purify and cleanse the body.

Below are the steps to take in order to do the bounce and shake exercise:
Standing with knees slightly bent, feet comfortably apart, bounce up and down easily without lifting your heels off the ground.

As you bounce, let your arms hang in a relaxed and floppy manner by your side.  Shake your hands by your side as you bounce up and down.  While you gently bounce and shake, slowly nod your head up and down in a comfortable range of no more than two to four inches.  As you nod back and look up, breathe in through your nose to the count of five seconds, and then exhale to the count of five seconds as you lower your heard.

During the first minute, breathe in and out through your nose.  During the next minute, breathe in and out through your nose while making a noise originating at the base of your throat.  This sound comes from the air flowing through your throat and not your vocal chords.  You will sound like you are quietly snoring.  During the remaining one to three minutes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, pucker your lips and blow out as if you were trying to put out a candle two feet in front of you.

Stop bouncing and shaking. While standing in a relaxed position, take a quiet minute simply to feel the tingling in your body.  This is best felt while standing straight with arms relaxed by your side and knees slightly bent.  Besides the important aspect of activating your lymphatic system, this vibration oxygenates and activates the trillion cells in your body to make you healthy!

Do the bounce and shake and write about how it contributes to your happiness.

 If the bounce and shake  doesn't seem to work for you,  Think about what type of exercise you enjoy doing, whether it is playing sports, going to the gym, swimming, yoga, etc.  It is important that we choose an exercise that we enjoy so that it is in line with our sustainable happiness.  Write down your exercise of choice and when you plan to perform this exercise in your daily or weekly routine. For instance, three times a week for 45 minutes or a certain amount of hours a day.  I recommend starting with an attainable goal.

Just imagine how good you'll feel after you exercise and get started today :-)!

*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 



Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.   

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The First Step To Happiness -- Decide To Be Happy :-)!

I know. When you read the title you were like, yeah right!  If it were only that easy!  Well if you listen to all of the experts who feel great all of the time, they all agree it starts with a decision to be happy!

Think about it. Before you go to the bathroom, you decide to go to the bathroom.  Before you do the dishes, you decide to do the dishes.  Before you go on a date, you decide to go on a date.  Do you understand my point?  Before you do anything you have to decide to do it!

Take a minute to ponder the idea of happiness infused into every aspect of your life...


In all of your social interactions, you express gratitude, acceptance, love, kindness, zest, and optimism.  You are smiling almost the whole time no matter if you are talking to someone on the phone or in person.  Imagine being the recipient of that gratitude, acceptance, love, kindness, zest and optimism.  It feels great right?  Sharing your happiness feels like the right thing to do.  In your consumptions, you are conscious of the value of minimalism, ethics, and environmental sustainability.  You are the embodiment of happiness in all of your thoughts, words and actions.  In the entertainment sector of your life, you attend friend gatherings and celebrations, you support local music, and dance until you cannot move anymore!  Your clothing is colorful, vibrant and has smiley faces on everything,  As far as the sustainable happiness worldview is concerned, you always hold a vision of a peaceful, loving, happy, healthy enlightened world remembering the importance of holding that positive vision of the future.  You are happy!  You are feeling like you never felt before, and you see happiness everywhere you look!  You are experiencing what people call the “sunny side of life!”


It looks pretty good, huh?!  You in your happy life. And it feels good too! I know because this is the kind of happy life I live everyday :-)!

This awesome, happy life is possible & within your control!

The firt step to achieving it is for you to make the decision to be happy. No one is going to make it for you! Only you can make this decision for yourself.  It would be like telling someone else that it is time to go to the bathroom.  No one is going to do it for you. Now is the time for you to stand up and take responsibility for your own happiness!  When you make this decision you realize you can no longer depend on all of those people, places or things for your happiness.  This is the time we stop making excuses for the lack of happiness in our lives and give ourselves permission to take control of our own happiness!

I want to tell you a story of one my happiness clients.
Molly escaped the war in Bosnia and was able to come to San Francisco to start a new life. For many years she thought that she should not be happy because the people in her country were suffering so much. She participated in many self-help workshops, yet she was still unhappy.

At last she came to the happiness club, over and over, and she never missed a meeting. The message we teach at the happiness club is that “Happiness Is A Decision,” which never made sense to her. In her words, “I felt like you were telling me to be an orange and I am a lemon.” She thought that we were trying to tell her to be something she was not.
One day, I told her a story about two women. She was sad for many years, was divorced and very bitter, felt that her life was a struggle, was always sick, and she always needed people to pity her. She felt like her life was miserable and it would always be that way because of the events she suffered in the past.

The other woman was happy, joyful, outgoing, colorful, fun, and excited about life. This woman also suffered a great deal of pain in the past, but chose to see and experience life’s positive side.It was through this story that Molly realized that happiness really is a CHOICE!!! This was big news in the happiness club because Molly once told the group that she would never be happy. NEVER.

One woman who attended the happiness club even cried for her in empathy!
How about that?  That is a very extreme case, yet it is very real and people struggle with their happiness all the time every day!  Are you ready to give up the struggle?  Are you ready to make the happiness decision?

Okay, for those skeptics who are saying this author is off her rocker and it can’t be that simple if I have been trying to be happy for years and now she just wants me to decide.  My response would be that in all those years, you have been in your head trying to get other people, places and things to make you happy.

Place your hand on your heart, breathe and ask yourself, “Am I ready to be happy?”
If the answer is YES! Make that happiness decision!
Happiness is always available to you when you are ready for it. Or you can realize that at some point you are going to have to do something different if you are unhappy.  Take a chance!  Join me on the happiness highway!

If you need help accessing this happiness deep inside of you, Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools!


*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 



Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.   

 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Want to know the fastest way to Happiness?


Quick, right now, think of five things you are grateful for and list them off the top of your head. Did you feel happier?  Probably!  

Being grateful is the number one, hands down, fastest way to happiness! 

An attitude of gratitude is essential for sustainable happiness.  Scientists have proved this over and over again.  

You may be wondering, what does the word gratitude mean anyway? 

Gratitude is derived from the Latin root gratia meaning grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. According to Pruyser (1976)  all derivatives from the Latin root “have to do with kindness, generousness, gifts, the beauty of giving and receiving, or getting something for nothing.”  Emmons and Shelton (2002) define gratitude as a psychological state that offers a “. . . felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.”

The roots of gratitude lie in mostly religious traditions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam and yet continue to be an elusive topic within the positive psychological literature. (Lazarus & Lazarus, 1994)  Very little empirical research has been done on gratitude. (Emmons & Shelton, 2002)

The benefits of gratitude move beyond just experiencing a satisfying intrinsic feeling and into other subjective states. Chesterton (1924)  asserted that “gratitude produced the most purely joyful moments that have been known to man.” According to the few empirical papers on gratitude, it is a pleasant condition and is linked with positive emotions, including contentment (Walker & Pitts, 1998), happiness, pride, and hope.  Dr. Emmons and Dr. Shelton reference a survey conducted by Gallup in 1998 in which over 90% of American teens and adults said that gratitude helped them to feel extremely happy or somewhat happy. Dr. Emmons and Dr. Crumpler (2000) have reported that a conscious focus on gratitude makes life more fulfilling, meaningful, and productive.  

I trust you are convinced after reading all of the scientific studies.  Now do you understand how gratitude has an extremely positive effect on your life? Then apply this knowledge! 
Here are some simple, scientifically proven, techniques you can use to enhance your feelings of gratitude:

• Journaling about things for which to be grateful
• Thinking about someone for whom you are grateful
• Writing/sending a letter to someone for whom you are grateful
• Meditating on gratitude (present moment awareness)
• Undertaking the “Count Your Blessings” exercise (at the end of the week, writing down three things for which you were grateful)
• Practicing saying “thank you” in a sincere and meaningful way
• Writing thank you notes
• If religious, praying about your gratitude


I would like to share a story with you about how gratitude became such a powerful part of my life.  

When I was nineteen I left the suburbs of Detroit to move to Hollywood.  This was the first time I had ever lived on my own and far away from where I grew up.  The town I had grow up in was very safe.  I could walk at night and never feel at risk.  It was very clean with no visible litter or garbage, there were no homeless people, and fast food restaurants were located only outside the city limits.  

When I started living in Hollywood, it was a severe culture shock for me because of all of the homeless people, gang members, prostitutes, ten-year-old drug dealers, not to mention all of the garbage.  When I walked outside of my apartment, I had my finger on my pepper spray can day or night! 

The biggest lesson this experience gave me was the sense of gratitude toward my parents, my neighborhood, toward the privilege I had grown up with.  I realized that not everyone had a loving and supportive family, safe streets to walk at night, and food consistently in the refrigerator. And this new found sense of gratitude helped to make me happier right where I was!

So go on, think about your life now, and identify some of the things that you can be grateful for in your life. How about the computer or other device that you're using right now to read this blog? It's helping you connect to resources that can contribute to your happiness -- that's something to be pretty grateful for! Or lets go even more basic and be grateful for being able to read at all! Imagine what your life may have been like if you had been illiterate. Or what if you had been blind?...

Once you start to really examine your life though this lens, you'll find so many things to be grateful for! And it will make you happier GUARANTEED!


Need more help or inspiration to make the practice of gratitude a part of your life?
Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help!

*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 

Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.   


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Laugh Your Way to Health & Happiness!

You want to know something funny? Recently I was getting criticized for laughing too much! Isn’t that a hoot?

The thought that someone can laugh too much or smile too much is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. To make sure I wasn’t in danger of anything except feelings of happiness, I decided to bring in some laughter experts to my radio show on Advice Radio.

As a happiness expert, I have to laugh and smile because those are two essential ingredients for sustainable happiness. Lately I’ve been laughing and smiling for no reason at all – just forcing out a chuckle whenever I felt like chuckling or smiling whenever I felt like smiling – and I’m happier because of it.

I’ve found that a lot of people are attached to the idea that there must be something to laugh at or about in order for laughter to be socially acceptable. I don’t agree, and I’m not alone. With laughter clubs, laughter yoga and laughter therapy, more and more people are discovering that a good laugh doesn’t need a good punch line to come first. 
The benefits of laughter are so remarkable that people skip the jokes and go right to the laughter!

If you are feeling resistance to the idea of laughing just for the sake of laughing and you really need something to laugh at, laugh at yourself. If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can?

Try conducting your own research study on happiness. Laugh at least 20 times a day for 5 days in a row and see if you feel happier. It’ll be the funniest thing you’ll do all week!

Still not convinced? Check out the recently published article on HelpGuide.org entitled "Laughter is the Best Medicine". Yes, not only will laughter and humor help you feel happier, it will also move you towards better health. It is strong medicine, especially if you share the laughter with others!

So go on, don't take yourself so seriously :). Make the decision to bring more humor and laughter into your life -- it is your birthright!

Need more help or inspiration to bring laughter into your life?
Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help you laugh your way to health and happiness!

*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 

Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
 

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Q: How can I be happy when I feel constant time pressure?

A: Imagine two birds in a tree. 
One bird says to the other,  “I have to go now, I am meeting my other bird friend at 3 00pm.”

Of course we have to acknowledge time is a man made phenomenon. It provides structure to our days so we remain in the ‘productivity’ role of our mind. However, this notion of time, causes great suffering for those who are dead line driven or constantly needing to check off the never ending to do list.

Stress, Anxiety, Compulsion, Distraction, Confusion, Overwhelm, Desperation, Anger

These are all negative experiences time constraints can provide for us.

I invite you to look above time for now....

Take a deep breath, rise above your relationship to time…and take a good hard look at it.

What is your experience with time? What does it mean to you? Is it stressing you out?

Well... Now, go ahead and imagine your upward spiral of life.

Do you see freedom from time? Enjoying your time? Accomplishing your goals with flow and ease?

What is the trick to turn the downward stressed based experience of time into the magic and rainbows of life?  

LIVE IN THE MOMENT!

For a lesson on living in the moment you can purchase this audio for  $11.99

Watch this free video!

Dr. Aymee






Dr. Aymee Coget, Sustainable Happiness Expert, founder of The Happiness Makeover™ Training Program offers services and products on how to be happy. More goodies on www.howtobehappystore.com . Ask questions and visit her on FB or twitter @draymee or her blog www.draymee.blogspot.com 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Q: How can I be happy when I am unlovable and unworthy of happiness?

A: Awww....

This is a great question!  You know how many people are in your shoes?  Probably all of my clients over the years have felt this at some point.

I am about to demystify this for you.

First of all, YOU ARE LOVABLE and you ARE WORTHY of happiness!


Something probably happened to you between the ages of 0-6 where you thought maybe this was true.

Perhaps, your parents left you with a baby sitter, perhaps you had a younger sibling born, perhaps you were not chosen for the neighborhood kickball team?

Who knows? 

So this incident has scarred your subconscious and you have been telling yourself this your whole life!

See, if you take a deeper look at this, is it really true that you are not lovable or don’t deserve to be happy?

Come on!  Of course you are!!!

Simply by being born and breathing you are lovable and worthy of happiness.

I call this the rider and elephant phenomenon.

Your elephant is what is developed as your subconscious from ages 0-6.

Your rider is you conscious who is reading this blog post right now, however your elephant is in the room. 

You rider has to steer your elephant toward the thought direction that will lead you into your upward spiral.

You are old enough to choose your beliefs right?

So in psychology we operate with a belief-thought-emotion- behavior model.

If your thought is I am unlovable, go ahead and ask your heart, what is the root belief behind this thought and wait for a response.

When your heart reveals your core root belief under this thought, challenge it! 

Ask, “Is this really true?”

I am willing to bet anything that the belief that surfaces is a flat out lie!

So your elephant has been operating on false beliefs for how long?

Times need to change, you need to consciously choose a belief that kickstarts your upward spiral, leads to a thought that is supportive of your happiness, which therefore is going to make you feel happy and consequently you may be smiling.

We have totally changed your psychological understanding of the idea that you are not lovable and don’t deserve happiness.

You can consciously choose your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors so they lead to you feeling good in your life.

I call this exercise, weeding out your garden of happiness of negative beliefs.

Happiness is work, just like everything, so you may as well start by weeding out your garden of happiness of negative beliefs right now!


Dr. Aymee






Dr. Aymee Coget, Sustainable Happiness Expert, founder of The Happiness Makeover™ Training Program offers services and products on how to become happier at www.howtobehappystore.com . Ask questions and visit her on FB or twitter @draymee or her blog www.draymee.blogspot.com 

Q: How can I be happy if my to do list haunts me?

A: Well.... you are not alone! 
Do you know how many people tie their happiness to their to do list?

I would even venture to say most Americans suffer from the to do list syndrome... moping around... because they never crossed off enough things from their list on any given day....

We for some reason, feel happier when we are more productive, yet we are also more stressed out, discontent and unfulfilled by the same concept of the to do list.

If I were to ask your to do list, “Are you responsible for <fill in your name>’s happiness?”

What do you think the to do list would say?

Actually, your to do list is an inanimate object and would not know what the heck I was talking about!

So next time when you are fretting over the lack of ‘significant’ accomplishment on your to do list, think about who is really responsible for your happiness.

YOU!

and this starts with you choosing happiness right now!

This means you can no longer blame your to do list for your unhappiness.

You have only one choice and that is to choose to take responsibility for your happiness and that starts with making the happiness decision.

Go ahead, walk over to a mirror, put your hand on your heart and look at yourself deep in the eyes!

Recite,

I <fill in your name>,
Do solemnly decide
to adopt the happiness decision
by being happy now!

Rather than react to my problems
I will use happiness to respond to them
forsaking all negative thoughts.

Regardless of circumstances,
in all ways, I will
choose happiness
for the rest of my sweet life!

*note, thanks to Lionel Ketchian et al of The Happiness Club for the happiness decision declaration.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Now that you have made the happiness decision, you can choose happiness no matter how many items are on your to do list.

and, research shows that happy people are more productive so you will probably even get more things done than the other way of looking at your to do list...

So, instead of your levels of accomplishment dictate your happiness or lack of...

My proposal to you is first choose happiness and perhaps you will surprise yourself with your levels of accomplishment.


Dr. Aymee





Dr. Aymee Coget is an expert of happiness at work. For more information about products and services including a workbook on how to create your happy profession, visit her website at www.happinessmakeover.com and connect to her on fb, twitter and youtube.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Q: How do I help myself feel better when my mood is low?


A: Whenever you feel down, here are three practices you can do to instantly lift your mood, whenever you want!

Smile
Smiling increases the level of Serotonin, a happy chemical in our brain. This makes smiling an important practice for increasing our mood whenever we want, instantly!

Express gratitude
The trick to a successful gratitude practice is to never repeat. Focus on the heart based wisdom things, experiences, and people who contribute to your life. This allows you to deepen your feeling of gratitude in your daily gratitude practice. Example: "I am grateful for my dog" vs "I am grateful for the unconditional love and companionship my dog adds to my life."

Be optimistic
We have an optimism center of our brain that when used, increases our mood!



Dr. Aymee





 
Dr. Aymee Coget, Sustainable Happiness Expert, founder of The Happiness Makeover™ Training Program offers services and products on how to become happier at her website www.happinessmakeover.com . Ask questions and visit her on FB or twitter @draymee or her blog www.draymee.blogspot.com