How To Un-Break Your Heart :-)!

Are you suffering because of a broken heart? 

Break-ups can be really devastating, and unfortunately most of us don't know how to deal with it!

The good news is that I have devised a simple and effective formula to help you un-break your heart!

Watch this recording of a San Francisco Happiness Club meeting where I lead our members through the process.

Need more help or inspiration un-breaking your heart? Visit my self-help store! 


I also welcome you to leave any questions or comments you have in the comments box below :)!

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Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 


Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.  

Hurting Because of a Break Up?

A while back we talked about the Break Up Formula -- a 5 step process I invented that can help you get through the pain of a break up and back into a happy state quickly and completely.

(For those of you who didn't get to read that post, you can still check it out at http://draymee.blogspot.com/2011/08/q-how-can-i-deal-with-break-up.html).

To demonstrate how the Break Up Formula really works, I wanted to share a story from one of my happiness coaching clients. She followed the five steps, got the closure she needed, and got back on the path to sustainable happiness. 

“Before using the break up formula I was filled with anxiety and had truly not acknowledged what had really happened.  Andrew had broken up with me, and I still was keeping the relationship alive in my mind so I wouldn’t feel the pain. I was in denial.

Once I acknowledged the break up, I began to let go of the anxiety. It was almost as if the ending allowed a beginning – sort of like winter is barren but is necessary for spring to emerge.

Once I accepted the break up, I was able to forgive myself and to forgive Andrew for leaving.  He was right to have left the relationship because the relationship was not working.

Next, I identified the learning lessons, which for me centered around the lack of integrity that was in our relationship and the fact that I allowed him to treat me poorly.  I came to understand that if I allow someone to treat me poorly, I do not respect myself, and if I do not respect myself, no one can.

Learning to be grateful for the relationship, even though it ended and was painful at times, was so important because it allowed me to be free of negative feelings toward someone who hurt me. It also gave me a sense of compassion for myself and for Andrew.

Physically breathing in and letting go was a powerful process, which for me completed the action.  My mind and body were physically freed.

The break-up formula helped on the days when I was sad and wanting Andrew.  It is a formula that clearly puts the situation into proper perspective.  By nature I wanted to go back to the relationship even though it was over and not healthy for me.  This formula helped me see the light and helped me overcome my fears.”

For a quick lesson on the Break Up Formula, watch my video on it here.

Need more help or inspiration to get through the pain of a break up and back into a happy state?

Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help you back into a happy state!


*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com 


Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.  

Q: How can I deal with a break up?

A: Breaking up is hard to do, and, unfortunately, it’s something practically everyone has to do at some point in their life. But break ups, even though they are painful, aren’t bad. In fact, if you’re breaking up, it’s probably because something wasn’t working and getting out of it is going to be good for you.

To keep you from feeling split apart during a split, I have come up with a “Break Up Formula” to help you move through these hard times quickly and to come out on the other side happy as a clam.

Step 1: Acknowledge the break up.

You have to say to yourself, “Yes, this is happening. I’m no longer resisting it. I’m no longer fighting it.” Once you’ve acknowledged the break up you can move into step two.

Step 2: Accept the break up.

You have to come to terms with the fact that not only are you breaking up, but that it’s a good thing and that you’re ready to move forward. Accepting the break up allows you to move on to step three.

Step 3: Identify lessons learned.

Every single person is brought into your life to teach you something. They may teach you something about yourself as an individual or about how you are in a relationship, but you will be a different person after you’ve had a relationship with them. Identify the ways that the relationship has shaped your character and appreciate what you have learned from the experience with your former partner.

This step may take a little longer than the first two. It’s not going to come to you in five minutes, and it may take a few days of serious reflection. Keep a living list and add to it as things come to you. When you feel like the list is complete, you can move into the next step.

Step 4: Be grateful for the lessons you learned.

You have undoubtedly had some personal growth courtesy of your experience with your former partner. Give gratitude for that growth. You may want to write a letter to your former partner and burn it, you may want to send an e-mail, or you may want to meet over dinner to express gratitude. You have to express your gratitude in some way before you can complete the process.

Step 5: Let go.

Once you move out of your head, you have to purge all the “negative” feelings from your body. Try to feel all of the hurt, anger, frustration, depression, and sadness in every single cell, and then place your hands over your head and take a deep breath. As you exhale, move your hands down your body like a French coffee press. Press all of the feelings you have brought to the surface into the ground and let go of them.

If you never let go of the person you were in a relationship with, you won’t have space for a new person to come in.

You can use the “Break-Up Formula” when you are faced with a partner who has chosen to break it off with you or when you are the one who initiated the break-up.


Dr. Aymee



 

Dr. Aymee Coget, Sustainable Happiness Expert, founder of The Happiness Makeover™ Training Program offers services and products on how to become happier at her website www.happinessmakeover.com . Ask questions and visit her on FB or twitter @draymee or her blog www.draymee.blogspot.com