Friday, March 30, 2012

Hurting Because of a Break Up?

A while back we talked about the Break Up Formula -- a 5 step process I invented that can help you get through the pain of a break up and back into a happy state quickly and completely.

(For those of you who didn't get to read that post, you can still check it out at

To demonstrate how the Break Up Formula really works, I wanted to share a story from one of my happiness coaching clients. She followed the five steps, got the closure she needed, and got back on the path to sustainable happiness. 

“Before using the break up formula I was filled with anxiety and had truly not acknowledged what had really happened.  Andrew had broken up with me, and I still was keeping the relationship alive in my mind so I wouldn’t feel the pain. I was in denial.

Once I acknowledged the break up, I began to let go of the anxiety. It was almost as if the ending allowed a beginning – sort of like winter is barren but is necessary for spring to emerge.

Once I accepted the break up, I was able to forgive myself and to forgive Andrew for leaving.  He was right to have left the relationship because the relationship was not working.

Next, I identified the learning lessons, which for me centered around the lack of integrity that was in our relationship and the fact that I allowed him to treat me poorly.  I came to understand that if I allow someone to treat me poorly, I do not respect myself, and if I do not respect myself, no one can.

Learning to be grateful for the relationship, even though it ended and was painful at times, was so important because it allowed me to be free of negative feelings toward someone who hurt me. It also gave me a sense of compassion for myself and for Andrew.

Physically breathing in and letting go was a powerful process, which for me completed the action.  My mind and body were physically freed.

The break-up formula helped on the days when I was sad and wanting Andrew.  It is a formula that clearly puts the situation into proper perspective.  By nature I wanted to go back to the relationship even though it was over and not healthy for me.  This formula helped me see the light and helped me overcome my fears.”

For a quick lesson on the Break Up Formula, watch my video on it here.

Need more help or inspiration to get through the pain of a break up and back into a happy state?
Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools to help you back into a happy state!

Visit Self-Help Store 
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee 
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker 

Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.  

No comments:

Post a Comment