What you are about to read is a real-life story - it REALLY happened! Our hero is a Dr. Robert Muller...
Dr. Muller found himself being pursued by Nazi Germans one day while at work. He hid in the attic of the hotel where the office was located when he was joined by a colleague. The colleague gave him the following report.
“You have little chance of escape, if any. There are five or six Gestapos in the building. They are systematically searching offices and appear quite relaxed, for they know that you are here. The entrance to the hotel is blocked and a prison van is stationed at the curb. To hide here in the attics or climb on the roof will not help. You know perfectly well that they will shoot you down like a pigeon.”
WOW! How about getting that news?!
It was at that point that Dr. Muller thought to himself that, “This is the moment of all moments, keep cool and in full command of my mental and physical capabilities.” Dr. Muller had read books from Dr. Emile Coue, one of them being "Self- Mastery Through Conscious Auto- Suggestion". In that book he had learned that he could influence his state of mind through training his brain! (Just like The Secret says!)
He suddenly remembered Dr. Coue and told himself, “I must feel relaxed and even elated about this situation.”
He followed the advice of Dr. Coue and he repeated to himself “…it was indeed an extraordinary and thrilling adventure for a twenty-year old youth to be trapped in a hotel, pursued by the Nazis. Would it not be exciting if I could play a trick on them and slip through their fingers?”
Can you believe that?! This is an extreme decision to change his mindset no matter what someone he trusted said. He knew he could access his best self if he felt cool calm and collected! Amazing!
Dr. Muller says, “Having switched my perspective to a positive, confident frame of mind, I felt relaxed, even happy and cheerful, without any fear or thought of failure whatsoever.”
It was when he set this intention that he was able to concoct an escape plan where he ended up walking right past the Gestapo agents in a disguise. He told them that he saw the man they were looking for on the 4th floor! Dr Muller walked right out the front door with ease!
WOW!!
Do you want to be able to train your brain like Dr. Muller and have the power to get yourself out of even life's most difficult and extreme situations with happiness?
Are you ready right now?
Then empower yourself to take charge of your brain and take responsibility for your thoughts!
Let’s do it!
Two ways we can take charge of our thoughts are through setting intentions and repeating affirmations.
I talked about how important and necessary the practice of setting intentions is in my blog post "The First Step To Happiness -- Decide To Be Happy :-)!"
So today, I will only remind you that we can go nowhere without the intention being placed! That is the first step. If you haven't taken it already, do it now -- decide to be happy!
Our intention set lets focus now on how you can use Affirmations to take charge of your thoughts.
An affirmation is a statement or proposition that is declared to be true. Once you enact the intention you can ensure its success with an affirmation. An example of an affirmation would be “Today is the happiest day of my life!”
I have all my happiness coaching clients make this affirmation daily as part of their morning routine :).
In search for more amazing happiness affirmations, I came across Dr. Loretta J. Standley’s website (www.drstandley.com ) which had an amazing amount of information for how we can achieve optimal health and happiness through our mind, body and spirit. She illustrates the following as examples of affirmations we can use to bring forth more happiness in our lives.
My happiness is reflected in my smile and cheerful personality.
My pleasing and joyful personality is contagious.
I AM always kind and helpful to strangers.
I spring out of bed with joy and excitement.
I AM excited about the new day and look forward to it with anticipation and interest.
I choose to be happy at the start of each day.
I laugh at myself with childish joy.
My sense of humor touches everyone around me.
My happiness continually brings me more happiness.
My happiness draws an overwhelming amount of blessings into my Life.
Dr. Loretta Standley gives explicit instructions below as to what to do with these affirmations exactly…
Remember to write or say any of the below listed affirmations at least 40X daily for 40 days. It takes 40 days to impress upon the unconscious "reacting" mind all that you desire and dream. Then it becomes automatic behavior in the conscious "acting" mind. Affirmations are the same as doing any type of repetitive exercise to change or learn a new behavior.
Put 40 beads, coins or beans in a cup and when you say each affirmation, take out 1 bead, coin or bead. In this way, you will not have to focus on counting your affirmations and you will be able to meditate on the affirmation while at the same time "feeling" it as well.
It is VERY important to say the affirmation slowly with feeling. Give yourself time to let your body "feel" the affirmation. If your affirmation refers to "wealth," then "feel" the wealth. If your affirmation refers to "Love," then allow yourself to "feel" Love all around you.
If you get side-tracked and miss a day then go back to Day 1 and start over. First, call to mind what caused you to divert your attention from your affirmations and second, be truly grateful for the awareness. Now you'll know how important it is to change your subconscious mind. "Enjoy" saying your affirmations and the Power of your spoken word.
I also found Remez Sasson, author of "The Power of Affirmations", to be quite practical in the description of affirmations and why and how we use them. He says, “Affirmations are statements that describe a desired condition or situation, and which are often repeated. They consist of words, but they automatically and involuntarily conjure mental images in the mind. These mental images, if repeated often, are brought into reality by the power of the mind.” He goes on to explain they are effective because: They motivate. They keep the mind focused on the goal. They enter into the subconscious mind, and use its power to push toward the goal from within. People sometimes intuitively perceive what you repeat in your mind, and for some reason or another help you make it come true. They are positive statements. If repeated often, their accumulated power influences your inner and outer worlds. They resemble a radio transmission that goes out to the Universal Mind, calling on it to help you achieve your goals.
Remez Sasson further recommends you devote special times during the day to repeat your affirmations. Or you can repeat them wherever you are and whenever you want and have the time to repeat them. Sounds easy to me!
Just remember, the more excitement and celebration you put into the statement of your affirmations, the more powerfully it will work for you!
Need more help or inspiration in learning tools and techniques for training your brain to happiness? Then Visit my Self-Help Store!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
How To Feel Like An Angel On Earth :)
I learned at a young age that in the end, people just want you to be nice to them. It is the grand teaching of the law of attraction! What you put out into the world, you get back.
When I am walking down the street, I hold my body with my heart exposed and when I see a passerby, I look deep into their eyes and smile :-). For me such smiling is an act of kindness, and I am on an active pursuit to make as many people smile as I can :-)!
If smiling at strangers doesn't seem like your kind of thing, how about sending out a quite prayer for the tiered or worried looking stranger?
A study published in December 2011 showed that when doctors quietly preformed a loving-kindness meditation for their patients, their patients felt better even though the patients had no idea that their doctor had preformed the meditation for them! (The patients were given a health form to fill out, and while they were filling out the forms, the doctors pretended to be reading something, while actually doing the meditation!)
Besides the study I mentioned above, there is a lot more scientific evidence proving that when you perform acts of kindness you will be happier! Research has demonstrated that engaging in acts of kindness daily contributes to the happiness of the individuals performing the acts, as well as helps them to develop into kind people. As long as they do not feel overwhelmed by their activities, they will become more positive over all, and experience increased physical health and well-being!
In 2006, for instance, a study about how happy people become happier was written up in the Journal of Happiness Studies. That study found that if people become more conscious of their kind behavior in daily life through a counting kindnesses intervention they will experience benefits toward developing sustainable happiness. A counting kindness intervention is where you perform acts of kindness and count how many you perform. I usually prescribe five acts of kindness a day for my happiness coaching clients.
This research shows that people who perform acts of kindness may experience, “(a) an increasing wish to be kind to others (b) more strongly recognize themselves as kind people and/or (c) more frequently enact kind behaviors towards others.” (Otake, Shimai, Tanaka-Matsumi, Otsui, & Frederickson, 2006).
In short, being kind to others has the potential to make people’s motivations, thoughts and actions more positive, and consequently contribute to their sustainable happiness.
If even science is telling us that our sustainable happiness is likely to be positively impacted by being kind to others, what do we have to lose?
In real life, as the California Chapter President for the Happiness Club, I decided to devote a meeting to performing Random Acts of Kindness. Molly is a member of our Happiness Club. When she first joined us she never thought she would be happy. Yet she took a leap of faith and made the happiness decision. Well after that happiness decision she needed tools to help her maintain that decision so she volunteered to do five random acts of kindness every day for 30 days!
When I checked in with her a few weeks after the meeting, she said, “I feel like an angel on Earth! I continually look for things to do to help people every chance I get. And now, when I need help there is ALWAYS someone there to help me which was never the case before I started performing the random acts of kindness.”
She recommends EVERY PERSON perform such Random Acts of Kindness because the positive change that occurs in your life is unbelievable! Molly has been happy every day since she realized that HAPPINESS IS A DECISION. Random Acts of Kindness is only one of her tools to help her live her sustainable happy life, yet it is a key tool!
So go on, make the commitment to preform random acts of kindness everyday :). Just imagine, soon you too can begin feeling like an angel on earth!
Need more help or inspiration to to start feeling like an angel on earth?
Visit my self-help store for some great tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
When I am walking down the street, I hold my body with my heart exposed and when I see a passerby, I look deep into their eyes and smile :-). For me such smiling is an act of kindness, and I am on an active pursuit to make as many people smile as I can :-)!
If smiling at strangers doesn't seem like your kind of thing, how about sending out a quite prayer for the tiered or worried looking stranger?
A study published in December 2011 showed that when doctors quietly preformed a loving-kindness meditation for their patients, their patients felt better even though the patients had no idea that their doctor had preformed the meditation for them! (The patients were given a health form to fill out, and while they were filling out the forms, the doctors pretended to be reading something, while actually doing the meditation!)
Besides the study I mentioned above, there is a lot more scientific evidence proving that when you perform acts of kindness you will be happier! Research has demonstrated that engaging in acts of kindness daily contributes to the happiness of the individuals performing the acts, as well as helps them to develop into kind people. As long as they do not feel overwhelmed by their activities, they will become more positive over all, and experience increased physical health and well-being!
In 2006, for instance, a study about how happy people become happier was written up in the Journal of Happiness Studies. That study found that if people become more conscious of their kind behavior in daily life through a counting kindnesses intervention they will experience benefits toward developing sustainable happiness. A counting kindness intervention is where you perform acts of kindness and count how many you perform. I usually prescribe five acts of kindness a day for my happiness coaching clients.
This research shows that people who perform acts of kindness may experience, “(a) an increasing wish to be kind to others (b) more strongly recognize themselves as kind people and/or (c) more frequently enact kind behaviors towards others.” (Otake, Shimai, Tanaka-Matsumi, Otsui, & Frederickson, 2006).
In short, being kind to others has the potential to make people’s motivations, thoughts and actions more positive, and consequently contribute to their sustainable happiness.
If even science is telling us that our sustainable happiness is likely to be positively impacted by being kind to others, what do we have to lose?
In real life, as the California Chapter President for the Happiness Club, I decided to devote a meeting to performing Random Acts of Kindness. Molly is a member of our Happiness Club. When she first joined us she never thought she would be happy. Yet she took a leap of faith and made the happiness decision. Well after that happiness decision she needed tools to help her maintain that decision so she volunteered to do five random acts of kindness every day for 30 days!
When I checked in with her a few weeks after the meeting, she said, “I feel like an angel on Earth! I continually look for things to do to help people every chance I get. And now, when I need help there is ALWAYS someone there to help me which was never the case before I started performing the random acts of kindness.”
She recommends EVERY PERSON perform such Random Acts of Kindness because the positive change that occurs in your life is unbelievable! Molly has been happy every day since she realized that HAPPINESS IS A DECISION. Random Acts of Kindness is only one of her tools to help her live her sustainable happy life, yet it is a key tool!
So go on, make the commitment to preform random acts of kindness everyday :). Just imagine, soon you too can begin feeling like an angel on earth!
Need more help or inspiration to to start feeling like an angel on earth?
Visit my self-help store for some great tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
'Shake And Bounce' Your Way To Happiness :-)!
So, I was thinking one day … If I didn’t have my body what would I have? NOTHING, I would be dead!
Taking care of our body is essential for happiness from a scientific, spiritual, and practical angle. It amazes me how many people ignore their bodies!
Someone once said, “Treat your body like a Temple” for a reason! I have heard many people say, “I don’t have the money for massage, the gym, organic food, etc.” Well, I was a student for ten years so my bank account has never been high. Yet, when I had money, I invested in my Temple because it is the only temple I will ever have during my entire lifetime. Excuses are excuses. Be proactive with your body, love your body, nurture and protect your body, and it will serve you the best it can.
Exercise is an essential aspect of our self care. Surveys have shown that physically active people feel happier and more satisfied with life. (Biddle, 2000) Dr. Biddle reports that this effect is seen in all age populations, no matter the health status and varying socioeconomic backgrounds. It has also been proven that if you only exercise one time, you will experience an improvement in your mood! So if you implement a regular exercise routine, you will be working toward your sustainable happiness. Over one hundred and fifty studies have concluded that exercise does in fact reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety and increases overall happiness!
For my exercise I stand on a whole body vibration machine called Turbosonic for ten minutes four or five times a week. This machine oxygenates my blood, cleans my lymph system, increases my serotonin, tones my muscles and eliminates fat! To learn where a Turbosonic machine is near you, go to http://turbosonicusa.com/index.php. Make sure you visit their research page to see all of the amazing studies that have proved its effectiveness and gained FDA approval.
If you do not have access to a Turbosonic machine, you can stand with your feet about a foot apart and your arms relaxed at each side, then shake your body vigorously for several minutes by pumping your legs up and down. Dr. John Gray, calls this exercise, bounce and shake (2003). It is quick and easy and anyone can do it anywhere at any time! It is good in limited spaces, even airplanes. There really is no excuse how to do one of these exercises whether you start using a Turbosonic or you start bouncing and shaking! Every morning you could stand up and bounce and shake if you wanted to!
Dr. Gray explains that the bounce and shake exercise benefits in four ways:
The increased cellular vibration burns fat, tones muscles, and increases lean body mass.
While bouncing and shaking, you will also flex your spine in coordination with deeper than usual breathing. The rhythmic flexing of the spine increases vitality and stimulates the healthy production of brain chemistry by pumping spinal fluid in and out of the brain.
The increased oxygen from the rhythmic breathing will also stimulate your metabolism to burn fat more efficiently during the day.
The gentle whole-body movement of bounce and shake stimulates the lymphatic system to purify and cleanse the body.
Below are the steps to take in order to do the bounce and shake exercise:
Standing with knees slightly bent, feet comfortably apart, bounce up and down easily without lifting your heels off the ground.
As you bounce, let your arms hang in a relaxed and floppy manner by your side. Shake your hands by your side as you bounce up and down. While you gently bounce and shake, slowly nod your head up and down in a comfortable range of no more than two to four inches. As you nod back and look up, breathe in through your nose to the count of five seconds, and then exhale to the count of five seconds as you lower your heard.
During the first minute, breathe in and out through your nose. During the next minute, breathe in and out through your nose while making a noise originating at the base of your throat. This sound comes from the air flowing through your throat and not your vocal chords. You will sound like you are quietly snoring. During the remaining one to three minutes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, pucker your lips and blow out as if you were trying to put out a candle two feet in front of you.
Stop bouncing and shaking. While standing in a relaxed position, take a quiet minute simply to feel the tingling in your body. This is best felt while standing straight with arms relaxed by your side and knees slightly bent. Besides the important aspect of activating your lymphatic system, this vibration oxygenates and activates the trillion cells in your body to make you healthy!
Do the bounce and shake and write about how it contributes to your happiness.
If the bounce and shake doesn't seem to work for you, Think about what type of exercise you enjoy doing, whether it is playing sports, going to the gym, swimming, yoga, etc. It is important that we choose an exercise that we enjoy so that it is in line with our sustainable happiness. Write down your exercise of choice and when you plan to perform this exercise in your daily or weekly routine. For instance, three times a week for 45 minutes or a certain amount of hours a day. I recommend starting with an attainable goal.
Just imagine how good you'll feel after you exercise and get started today :-)!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Taking care of our body is essential for happiness from a scientific, spiritual, and practical angle. It amazes me how many people ignore their bodies!
Someone once said, “Treat your body like a Temple” for a reason! I have heard many people say, “I don’t have the money for massage, the gym, organic food, etc.” Well, I was a student for ten years so my bank account has never been high. Yet, when I had money, I invested in my Temple because it is the only temple I will ever have during my entire lifetime. Excuses are excuses. Be proactive with your body, love your body, nurture and protect your body, and it will serve you the best it can.
Exercise is an essential aspect of our self care. Surveys have shown that physically active people feel happier and more satisfied with life. (Biddle, 2000) Dr. Biddle reports that this effect is seen in all age populations, no matter the health status and varying socioeconomic backgrounds. It has also been proven that if you only exercise one time, you will experience an improvement in your mood! So if you implement a regular exercise routine, you will be working toward your sustainable happiness. Over one hundred and fifty studies have concluded that exercise does in fact reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety and increases overall happiness!
For my exercise I stand on a whole body vibration machine called Turbosonic for ten minutes four or five times a week. This machine oxygenates my blood, cleans my lymph system, increases my serotonin, tones my muscles and eliminates fat! To learn where a Turbosonic machine is near you, go to http://turbosonicusa.com/index.php. Make sure you visit their research page to see all of the amazing studies that have proved its effectiveness and gained FDA approval.
If you do not have access to a Turbosonic machine, you can stand with your feet about a foot apart and your arms relaxed at each side, then shake your body vigorously for several minutes by pumping your legs up and down. Dr. John Gray, calls this exercise, bounce and shake (2003). It is quick and easy and anyone can do it anywhere at any time! It is good in limited spaces, even airplanes. There really is no excuse how to do one of these exercises whether you start using a Turbosonic or you start bouncing and shaking! Every morning you could stand up and bounce and shake if you wanted to!
Dr. Gray explains that the bounce and shake exercise benefits in four ways:
The increased cellular vibration burns fat, tones muscles, and increases lean body mass.
While bouncing and shaking, you will also flex your spine in coordination with deeper than usual breathing. The rhythmic flexing of the spine increases vitality and stimulates the healthy production of brain chemistry by pumping spinal fluid in and out of the brain.
The increased oxygen from the rhythmic breathing will also stimulate your metabolism to burn fat more efficiently during the day.
The gentle whole-body movement of bounce and shake stimulates the lymphatic system to purify and cleanse the body.
Below are the steps to take in order to do the bounce and shake exercise:
Standing with knees slightly bent, feet comfortably apart, bounce up and down easily without lifting your heels off the ground.
As you bounce, let your arms hang in a relaxed and floppy manner by your side. Shake your hands by your side as you bounce up and down. While you gently bounce and shake, slowly nod your head up and down in a comfortable range of no more than two to four inches. As you nod back and look up, breathe in through your nose to the count of five seconds, and then exhale to the count of five seconds as you lower your heard.
During the first minute, breathe in and out through your nose. During the next minute, breathe in and out through your nose while making a noise originating at the base of your throat. This sound comes from the air flowing through your throat and not your vocal chords. You will sound like you are quietly snoring. During the remaining one to three minutes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, pucker your lips and blow out as if you were trying to put out a candle two feet in front of you.
Stop bouncing and shaking. While standing in a relaxed position, take a quiet minute simply to feel the tingling in your body. This is best felt while standing straight with arms relaxed by your side and knees slightly bent. Besides the important aspect of activating your lymphatic system, this vibration oxygenates and activates the trillion cells in your body to make you healthy!
Do the bounce and shake and write about how it contributes to your happiness.
If the bounce and shake doesn't seem to work for you, Think about what type of exercise you enjoy doing, whether it is playing sports, going to the gym, swimming, yoga, etc. It is important that we choose an exercise that we enjoy so that it is in line with our sustainable happiness. Write down your exercise of choice and when you plan to perform this exercise in your daily or weekly routine. For instance, three times a week for 45 minutes or a certain amount of hours a day. I recommend starting with an attainable goal.
Just imagine how good you'll feel after you exercise and get started today :-)!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Live In the Moment To Live Happy!
All of our great teachers have told us to be present in our lives; all we have is what is offered to us in this moment. They tell us to live in the moment, emphasizing the power of now, over and over…. It is true that being present in our lives does contribute to our sustainable happiness!
Eckert Tolle, author of The Power of Now, connects living in the moment with sustainable happiness and explains how it helps us achieve our sustainable happiness. “For many of us there are new discoveries to be made along the way: we are not our mind; we can find our way out of psychological pain; authentic human power is found by surrendering to the Now. We also find out that the body is actually one of the keys to entry into a state of inner peace, as are the silence and space all around us. Indeed, access is everywhere available. These access points, or portals, can all be used to bring us into the Now, the present moment, where problems do not exist. It is here we find our joy and are able to embrace our true selves. It is here we discover that we are already complete and perfect.”
Having spent much of my life in academia, I had, until recently, found myself in the position of always thinking ahead. What paper is due? When? What do I have to read? By when? How long until this semester is over? When am I going to finish? When am I going to make money? Is all of this education going to be worth it after all? I was never in the moment because I was trained to always be somewhere else.
There came a time when I said to myself, “Is living in the moment really worth all of the hype it gets?” And I set out to train myself how to live in the moment. I invented a strategy for myself and found great results that have left me with living in the moment most of the time. The strategy I invented is outlined for you in the exercises section on the next page. It took me six months of constant practice, but eventually I was living in the moment. When I realized I was living in the moment 100% of the time, I felt an enormous stress lift from my shoulders. I have never gone back to living in anything but the moment! One of my former happiness coaching clients gave me this wonderful testimonial when I asked her if she was living in the moment after our coaching has ended:
“Whenever I feel worry or fear (which used to be an almost constant state), and notice it, I catch myself breathing in the blue of the ocean and out the white of the waves, and focusing on the core of my body as an open channel. I feel my consciousness more present deep within. Most of the time, now, since working with Aymee, it seems the worry and fears are a distant memory. I really noticed it recently when I flew without the slightest fear. That's a true test for me, because I used to always experience some anxiety with flying. It's more of a challenge to describe being present in the moment than it is to just "be" it. When I focus on the scripture, "Peace, be still," it really seems to help too! I find that now I feel lighter, more grateful and peaceful. Everything seems more profound. I'm WAY less stressed, and well-being is an almost constant state now, even when I know my body is tired and I have a lot to do.”
I really want to communicate to you that living in the moment is possible for you and everyone. It is not just for spiritual gurus who write books about it!
Here are some exercises you can do over time to learn living in the moment. Please do them, start living in the moment and watch out! Your happiness will sky rocket and your stress will decrease beyond your imagination!
1) If you notice yourself thinking about something in the future, such as a decision you have to make, directions you have find, a phone call you have to make, etc. then schedule a time 10 minutes before you absolutely must make that decision. This way, you know you will address the issue and you know when you will address the issue and it does not permeate every moment of your life.
2) If you notice yourself preoccupied with something in the past or future that is not an ‘action item’ like #1, then reel back your thinking like a fishing rod so you can be back in the moment. It helps to visualize the fishing rod being reeled in. When you see the fishing rod come back to you, use your senses to get that precious gift that is offered to us in each moment.
3) If you are bored in the moment or don’t like being in that moment for whatever reason, use all of your senses to get every possible morsel out of the experience – thinking, learning, appreciating, whatever that moment has to offer. Then express gratitude for what is being offered to you in the moment.
4) Realize that all of your appointments are tentative and you can reschedule them any time. People generally understand if the timing just is not right and you have to reschedule.
Remember it takes time, persistence, and patience to actually achieve living in the moment. When it happens, it is worth it and you will never go back to not living in the moment!
If you need more help learning to live in the moment, Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Eckert Tolle, author of The Power of Now, connects living in the moment with sustainable happiness and explains how it helps us achieve our sustainable happiness. “For many of us there are new discoveries to be made along the way: we are not our mind; we can find our way out of psychological pain; authentic human power is found by surrendering to the Now. We also find out that the body is actually one of the keys to entry into a state of inner peace, as are the silence and space all around us. Indeed, access is everywhere available. These access points, or portals, can all be used to bring us into the Now, the present moment, where problems do not exist. It is here we find our joy and are able to embrace our true selves. It is here we discover that we are already complete and perfect.”
Having spent much of my life in academia, I had, until recently, found myself in the position of always thinking ahead. What paper is due? When? What do I have to read? By when? How long until this semester is over? When am I going to finish? When am I going to make money? Is all of this education going to be worth it after all? I was never in the moment because I was trained to always be somewhere else.
There came a time when I said to myself, “Is living in the moment really worth all of the hype it gets?” And I set out to train myself how to live in the moment. I invented a strategy for myself and found great results that have left me with living in the moment most of the time. The strategy I invented is outlined for you in the exercises section on the next page. It took me six months of constant practice, but eventually I was living in the moment. When I realized I was living in the moment 100% of the time, I felt an enormous stress lift from my shoulders. I have never gone back to living in anything but the moment! One of my former happiness coaching clients gave me this wonderful testimonial when I asked her if she was living in the moment after our coaching has ended:
“Whenever I feel worry or fear (which used to be an almost constant state), and notice it, I catch myself breathing in the blue of the ocean and out the white of the waves, and focusing on the core of my body as an open channel. I feel my consciousness more present deep within. Most of the time, now, since working with Aymee, it seems the worry and fears are a distant memory. I really noticed it recently when I flew without the slightest fear. That's a true test for me, because I used to always experience some anxiety with flying. It's more of a challenge to describe being present in the moment than it is to just "be" it. When I focus on the scripture, "Peace, be still," it really seems to help too! I find that now I feel lighter, more grateful and peaceful. Everything seems more profound. I'm WAY less stressed, and well-being is an almost constant state now, even when I know my body is tired and I have a lot to do.”
I really want to communicate to you that living in the moment is possible for you and everyone. It is not just for spiritual gurus who write books about it!
Here are some exercises you can do over time to learn living in the moment. Please do them, start living in the moment and watch out! Your happiness will sky rocket and your stress will decrease beyond your imagination!
1) If you notice yourself thinking about something in the future, such as a decision you have to make, directions you have find, a phone call you have to make, etc. then schedule a time 10 minutes before you absolutely must make that decision. This way, you know you will address the issue and you know when you will address the issue and it does not permeate every moment of your life.
2) If you notice yourself preoccupied with something in the past or future that is not an ‘action item’ like #1, then reel back your thinking like a fishing rod so you can be back in the moment. It helps to visualize the fishing rod being reeled in. When you see the fishing rod come back to you, use your senses to get that precious gift that is offered to us in each moment.
3) If you are bored in the moment or don’t like being in that moment for whatever reason, use all of your senses to get every possible morsel out of the experience – thinking, learning, appreciating, whatever that moment has to offer. Then express gratitude for what is being offered to you in the moment.
4) Realize that all of your appointments are tentative and you can reschedule them any time. People generally understand if the timing just is not right and you have to reschedule.
Remember it takes time, persistence, and patience to actually achieve living in the moment. When it happens, it is worth it and you will never go back to not living in the moment!
If you need more help learning to live in the moment, Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Focus On What's Right With You!
How many compliments did you receive today? How many people told you how they thought you were so amazing and wonderful today? How often do you tell yourself, “Damn, I am a really great person and I have so many wonderful aspects to my personality!” How often do you tell someone what you appreciate about them or what strengths you see in them?
My guess is not every day! We live in a society that is focused on what is wrong with us, what we need to fix about ourselves, things we can be better at.
Yet how much has such focusing on what's wrong with you helped you achieve greater happiness?
The great news is that there is another way that and it's blowing the traditional approach out of the water with its effectiveness!
It is called the Values in Action (VIA) Signature Strengths (Peterson & Seligman, 2003). This typology of strengths tells us what is good about ourselves instead of what is wrong with us, and then builds on our strengths. All of the concentration on the positive allows the ‘negative’ to become less visible in someone’s lives.
To the cynics out there, I know it may sound ignorant to concentrate on the positive and ignore the negative or the “problems”. Yet, there is plenty of scientific evidence yielding great results when employing this technique and it has had lasting success at the systemic, group and individual levels. I especially want to point to the groundbreaking dissertation research in 2007 of Dr. Jason Berman, which gives clear evidence showing that when we know our strengths and consider them in terms of our self-concept, we are indeed happier (Berman, 2007).
I was so excited when I found out that psychology could actually tell me what is good about myself! This field has done such a great job at analyzing what is wrong with us, it is about time they start looking at what is right! As soon as I could, I took that VIA test and below are my strengths:
Gratitude
Kindness & generosity
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
Curiosity and interest in the world
Hope, optimism and future mindedness
Since learning my strengths, I have felt a whole new sense of how I can be my best self. Gratitude for me was something I developed over the course my adult life, and it has become part of my everyday state of being. Knowing that I am kind and generous helps me to understand why I desire to help others, and why it makes me happy. Utilizing gratitude and kindness in your everyday life are two of the top methods that are used to increase happiness. Learning about my third strength, appreciation of beauty and excellence, made me understand why I enjoy the best in life. My curiosity and interest in the world keeps me from boredom or from judging others. Lastly, my fifth strength, of hope, optimism and future mindedness helps me to remember that there is a “light at the end of the tunnel” when times get rough. This strength helps me to inspire others to see the light at the end of the tunnel too.
Once we know what our strengths are, we can use them in numerous ways. One way is to team up with others who know what their strengths are and engage in activities that are in line with each team participant’s strengths. For instance, you might go on outings that highlight your strengths. Since I appreciate beauty and excellence, I may be inclined to go to a museum. I recommend you cultivate your strengths in your life every moment of everyday and this will lead you to the mindset it takes to feel better!
We can also use our strengths in times of happiness challenges. Remember a happiness challenge is something that arises in your life that makes you feel bad. When you come across an obstacle of feeling better, look to your strengths to see if you can overcome it. For instance if you are a victim of someone else’s road rage you can offer your strength of kindness instead of participating in that person’s road rage. In my case I know that in a time of strife I can reach for my gratitude tool to help me see what I am grateful for in that situation, or for my kindness tool to help me alleviate the stress of the situation. You can even use your strengths when coping with hardship or tragedy like having gratitude when someone close to you passes on. You can feel gratitude for the times you shared with that person or be grateful for them they are no longer suffering.
I encourage you to visit http://www.authentichappiness.com to take the VIA signature strengths survey to find out what is good about yourself :). Trust me, you will like the results!
After that, if you need help figuring out how you can use your strengths to achieve greater happiness, visit my self-help store for some great tools :).
*********************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speakerwww.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
My guess is not every day! We live in a society that is focused on what is wrong with us, what we need to fix about ourselves, things we can be better at.
Yet how much has such focusing on what's wrong with you helped you achieve greater happiness?
The great news is that there is another way that and it's blowing the traditional approach out of the water with its effectiveness!
It is called the Values in Action (VIA) Signature Strengths (Peterson & Seligman, 2003). This typology of strengths tells us what is good about ourselves instead of what is wrong with us, and then builds on our strengths. All of the concentration on the positive allows the ‘negative’ to become less visible in someone’s lives.
To the cynics out there, I know it may sound ignorant to concentrate on the positive and ignore the negative or the “problems”. Yet, there is plenty of scientific evidence yielding great results when employing this technique and it has had lasting success at the systemic, group and individual levels. I especially want to point to the groundbreaking dissertation research in 2007 of Dr. Jason Berman, which gives clear evidence showing that when we know our strengths and consider them in terms of our self-concept, we are indeed happier (Berman, 2007).
I was so excited when I found out that psychology could actually tell me what is good about myself! This field has done such a great job at analyzing what is wrong with us, it is about time they start looking at what is right! As soon as I could, I took that VIA test and below are my strengths:
Gratitude
Kindness & generosity
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
Curiosity and interest in the world
Hope, optimism and future mindedness
Since learning my strengths, I have felt a whole new sense of how I can be my best self. Gratitude for me was something I developed over the course my adult life, and it has become part of my everyday state of being. Knowing that I am kind and generous helps me to understand why I desire to help others, and why it makes me happy. Utilizing gratitude and kindness in your everyday life are two of the top methods that are used to increase happiness. Learning about my third strength, appreciation of beauty and excellence, made me understand why I enjoy the best in life. My curiosity and interest in the world keeps me from boredom or from judging others. Lastly, my fifth strength, of hope, optimism and future mindedness helps me to remember that there is a “light at the end of the tunnel” when times get rough. This strength helps me to inspire others to see the light at the end of the tunnel too.
Once we know what our strengths are, we can use them in numerous ways. One way is to team up with others who know what their strengths are and engage in activities that are in line with each team participant’s strengths. For instance, you might go on outings that highlight your strengths. Since I appreciate beauty and excellence, I may be inclined to go to a museum. I recommend you cultivate your strengths in your life every moment of everyday and this will lead you to the mindset it takes to feel better!
We can also use our strengths in times of happiness challenges. Remember a happiness challenge is something that arises in your life that makes you feel bad. When you come across an obstacle of feeling better, look to your strengths to see if you can overcome it. For instance if you are a victim of someone else’s road rage you can offer your strength of kindness instead of participating in that person’s road rage. In my case I know that in a time of strife I can reach for my gratitude tool to help me see what I am grateful for in that situation, or for my kindness tool to help me alleviate the stress of the situation. You can even use your strengths when coping with hardship or tragedy like having gratitude when someone close to you passes on. You can feel gratitude for the times you shared with that person or be grateful for them they are no longer suffering.
I encourage you to visit http://www.authentichappiness.com to take the VIA signature strengths survey to find out what is good about yourself :). Trust me, you will like the results!
After that, if you need help figuring out how you can use your strengths to achieve greater happiness, visit my self-help store for some great tools :).
*********************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speakerwww.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
How To Use Goal Setting To Achieve Happiness!
Goal-setting helps us achieve happiness!
When we have something in our lives we are working toward, our happiness is greatly enhanced. If you think about it, the happy people that you know probably have goals. I am not asking you to decide to be president or anything. Just choose a goal or two that you care to achieve, and figure out why you care so much about them. This consequently will play a role in you feeling better :).
At Stanford, Dr. Laura Cartensen’s (1995) research talks about how socio-emotional selectivity theory suggests that older people learn to structure their lives and pursue particular goals that maximize positive emotions. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) This is consistent with what I teach, which is that people can actually learn to increase their happiness to a sustainable level. Further support for this notion comes from results of a study by happiness researchers Dr. Sheldon and Dr. Kasser (2001), which showed that age-related increases in well-being are in part mediated by willful changes, including older people’s ability to select more enjoyable and self-appropriate goals. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) In other words, our elders have found a way to choose goals they enjoy and that fit appropriately with the things they care about in life. We need to learn to do this, too, and as soon as possible, because the sooner we figure it out, the closer we will be to feeling better!
Goal-setting has been a part of my life since childhood. I started playing soccer at the age of six and we were always taught to be the best players and the best team we could be. By the time I was fourteen, I made the Olympic development team, which further fueled my desire to be the best soccer player I could be. We were always having tryouts and games, and completing individual performance goals. I played soccer competitively until I was nineteen. So for those thirteen years the concept of goal-setting and goal-achieving was really imbedded in my daily life through school and athletics.
Now, I have a goal to help millions of people live happier lives. This goal helps fuel my energy, effort, passion, and devotion to my cause every day, so that I can do whatever I need to do to achieve this goal.
Of course this is a long-term goal, and this long-term goal has many short-term goals associated with it. The short-term goals include writing this blog, creating and starring in my vision of a prime-time network award winning show that teaches the audience how to be happy, teaching and performing happiness exercises in world organizations, i.e. the United Nations, World Bank, European Union, etc., I also plan to set up Happiness Centers in each country that are responsible for working to increase the country’s Gross National Happiness (GNH) Index...
As you can see, I have my work cut out for me and I am working to achieve those happiness goals every day and every minute of my life! Not only does this help me feel intrinsic motivation, I feel a sense of duty, fulfillment, and a deep sense of meaning and purpose.
And for those skeptics… of course, I experience setbacks and obstacles in my pursuit of those goals. As you know, the world is not a happy and glorious place all of the time. And even I experience ups and downs, two steps forward one step back in the daily work of achieving my goals. The important thing is how we choose to deal with those goal setbacks. If you really remain steadfast with your happiness decision, then you will respond to those setbacks with HAPPINESS! I know it sounds crazy, but just try it. Believe me it works.
If you think about it from the “setback’s” perspective -- let’s say the setback is in the form of another person, and well, let’s just imagine you always being jovial and courteous toward that other person -- what kind of response do you think you will get? Yet, what if you give someone anger, attitude and resentment? That’s right! It is a no brainer! Have you ever heard that saying, “What you put out you get back.”? That is the case here. Who wants to receive someone else’s anger, attitude, or resentment? Probably not you, definitely not me. Think about this from the receiver’s perspective. People do not need nor deserve the negative energy that comes with your ‘negative’, ‘low vibration’ emotions. Please think in terms of creating an ‘Upward Spiral’ every day, that is what will help you in sustaining your happiness. Let’s try to stay on the bright side of life, shall we?
So, are you ready to commit to some goals?!
Some of you still require more time, patience and persistence before you really commit to setting goals for your happiness. Some of you may need help to feel comfortable in alleviating the obstacle or setback you are experiencing right now.
If so, visit my self help store for some great tools to help you!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
When we have something in our lives we are working toward, our happiness is greatly enhanced. If you think about it, the happy people that you know probably have goals. I am not asking you to decide to be president or anything. Just choose a goal or two that you care to achieve, and figure out why you care so much about them. This consequently will play a role in you feeling better :).
At Stanford, Dr. Laura Cartensen’s (1995) research talks about how socio-emotional selectivity theory suggests that older people learn to structure their lives and pursue particular goals that maximize positive emotions. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) This is consistent with what I teach, which is that people can actually learn to increase their happiness to a sustainable level. Further support for this notion comes from results of a study by happiness researchers Dr. Sheldon and Dr. Kasser (2001), which showed that age-related increases in well-being are in part mediated by willful changes, including older people’s ability to select more enjoyable and self-appropriate goals. (Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D., 2005) In other words, our elders have found a way to choose goals they enjoy and that fit appropriately with the things they care about in life. We need to learn to do this, too, and as soon as possible, because the sooner we figure it out, the closer we will be to feeling better!
Goal-setting has been a part of my life since childhood. I started playing soccer at the age of six and we were always taught to be the best players and the best team we could be. By the time I was fourteen, I made the Olympic development team, which further fueled my desire to be the best soccer player I could be. We were always having tryouts and games, and completing individual performance goals. I played soccer competitively until I was nineteen. So for those thirteen years the concept of goal-setting and goal-achieving was really imbedded in my daily life through school and athletics.
Now, I have a goal to help millions of people live happier lives. This goal helps fuel my energy, effort, passion, and devotion to my cause every day, so that I can do whatever I need to do to achieve this goal.
Of course this is a long-term goal, and this long-term goal has many short-term goals associated with it. The short-term goals include writing this blog, creating and starring in my vision of a prime-time network award winning show that teaches the audience how to be happy, teaching and performing happiness exercises in world organizations, i.e. the United Nations, World Bank, European Union, etc., I also plan to set up Happiness Centers in each country that are responsible for working to increase the country’s Gross National Happiness (GNH) Index...
As you can see, I have my work cut out for me and I am working to achieve those happiness goals every day and every minute of my life! Not only does this help me feel intrinsic motivation, I feel a sense of duty, fulfillment, and a deep sense of meaning and purpose.
And for those skeptics… of course, I experience setbacks and obstacles in my pursuit of those goals. As you know, the world is not a happy and glorious place all of the time. And even I experience ups and downs, two steps forward one step back in the daily work of achieving my goals. The important thing is how we choose to deal with those goal setbacks. If you really remain steadfast with your happiness decision, then you will respond to those setbacks with HAPPINESS! I know it sounds crazy, but just try it. Believe me it works.
If you think about it from the “setback’s” perspective -- let’s say the setback is in the form of another person, and well, let’s just imagine you always being jovial and courteous toward that other person -- what kind of response do you think you will get? Yet, what if you give someone anger, attitude and resentment? That’s right! It is a no brainer! Have you ever heard that saying, “What you put out you get back.”? That is the case here. Who wants to receive someone else’s anger, attitude, or resentment? Probably not you, definitely not me. Think about this from the receiver’s perspective. People do not need nor deserve the negative energy that comes with your ‘negative’, ‘low vibration’ emotions. Please think in terms of creating an ‘Upward Spiral’ every day, that is what will help you in sustaining your happiness. Let’s try to stay on the bright side of life, shall we?
So, are you ready to commit to some goals?!
Some of you still require more time, patience and persistence before you really commit to setting goals for your happiness. Some of you may need help to feel comfortable in alleviating the obstacle or setback you are experiencing right now.
If so, visit my self help store for some great tools to help you!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
The First Step To Happiness -- Decide To Be Happy :-)!
I know. When you read the title you were like, yeah right! If it were only that easy! Well if you listen to all of the experts who feel great all of the time, they all agree it starts with a decision to be happy!
Think about it. Before you go to the bathroom, you decide to go to the bathroom. Before you do the dishes, you decide to do the dishes. Before you go on a date, you decide to go on a date. Do you understand my point? Before you do anything you have to decide to do it!
Take a minute to ponder the idea of happiness infused into every aspect of your life...
In all of your social interactions, you express gratitude, acceptance, love, kindness, zest, and optimism. You are smiling almost the whole time no matter if you are talking to someone on the phone or in person. Imagine being the recipient of that gratitude, acceptance, love, kindness, zest and optimism. It feels great right? Sharing your happiness feels like the right thing to do. In your consumptions, you are conscious of the value of minimalism, ethics, and environmental sustainability. You are the embodiment of happiness in all of your thoughts, words and actions. In the entertainment sector of your life, you attend friend gatherings and celebrations, you support local music, and dance until you cannot move anymore! Your clothing is colorful, vibrant and has smiley faces on everything, As far as the sustainable happiness worldview is concerned, you always hold a vision of a peaceful, loving, happy, healthy enlightened world remembering the importance of holding that positive vision of the future. You are happy! You are feeling like you never felt before, and you see happiness everywhere you look! You are experiencing what people call the “sunny side of life!”
It looks pretty good, huh?! You in your happy life. And it feels good too! I know because this is the kind of happy life I live everyday :-)!
This awesome, happy life is possible & within your control!
The firt step to achieving it is for you to make the decision to be happy. No one is going to make it for you! Only you can make this decision for yourself. It would be like telling someone else that it is time to go to the bathroom. No one is going to do it for you. Now is the time for you to stand up and take responsibility for your own happiness! When you make this decision you realize you can no longer depend on all of those people, places or things for your happiness. This is the time we stop making excuses for the lack of happiness in our lives and give ourselves permission to take control of our own happiness!
I want to tell you a story of one my happiness clients.
Molly escaped the war in Bosnia and was able to come to San Francisco to start a new life. For many years she thought that she should not be happy because the people in her country were suffering so much. She participated in many self-help workshops, yet she was still unhappy.
At last she came to the happiness club, over and over, and she never missed a meeting. The message we teach at the happiness club is that “Happiness Is A Decision,” which never made sense to her. In her words, “I felt like you were telling me to be an orange and I am a lemon.” She thought that we were trying to tell her to be something she was not.
One day, I told her a story about two women. She was sad for many years, was divorced and very bitter, felt that her life was a struggle, was always sick, and she always needed people to pity her. She felt like her life was miserable and it would always be that way because of the events she suffered in the past.
The other woman was happy, joyful, outgoing, colorful, fun, and excited about life. This woman also suffered a great deal of pain in the past, but chose to see and experience life’s positive side.It was through this story that Molly realized that happiness really is a CHOICE!!! This was big news in the happiness club because Molly once told the group that she would never be happy. NEVER.
One woman who attended the happiness club even cried for her in empathy!
How about that? That is a very extreme case, yet it is very real and people struggle with their happiness all the time every day! Are you ready to give up the struggle? Are you ready to make the happiness decision?
Okay, for those skeptics who are saying this author is off her rocker and it can’t be that simple if I have been trying to be happy for years and now she just wants me to decide. My response would be that in all those years, you have been in your head trying to get other people, places and things to make you happy.
Place your hand on your heart, breathe and ask yourself, “Am I ready to be happy?”
If the answer is YES! Make that happiness decision!
Happiness is always available to you when you are ready for it. Or you can realize that at some point you are going to have to do something different if you are unhappy. Take a chance! Join me on the happiness highway!
If you need help accessing this happiness deep inside of you, Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Think about it. Before you go to the bathroom, you decide to go to the bathroom. Before you do the dishes, you decide to do the dishes. Before you go on a date, you decide to go on a date. Do you understand my point? Before you do anything you have to decide to do it!
Take a minute to ponder the idea of happiness infused into every aspect of your life...
In all of your social interactions, you express gratitude, acceptance, love, kindness, zest, and optimism. You are smiling almost the whole time no matter if you are talking to someone on the phone or in person. Imagine being the recipient of that gratitude, acceptance, love, kindness, zest and optimism. It feels great right? Sharing your happiness feels like the right thing to do. In your consumptions, you are conscious of the value of minimalism, ethics, and environmental sustainability. You are the embodiment of happiness in all of your thoughts, words and actions. In the entertainment sector of your life, you attend friend gatherings and celebrations, you support local music, and dance until you cannot move anymore! Your clothing is colorful, vibrant and has smiley faces on everything,
It looks pretty good, huh?! You in your happy life. And it feels good too! I know because this is the kind of happy life I live everyday :-)!
This awesome, happy life is possible & within your control!
The firt step to achieving it is for you to make the decision to be happy. No one is going to make it for you! Only you can make this decision for yourself. It would be like telling someone else that it is time to go to the bathroom. No one is going to do it for you. Now is the time for you to stand up and take responsibility for your own happiness! When you make this decision you realize you can no longer depend on all of those people, places or things for your happiness. This is the time we stop making excuses for the lack of happiness in our lives and give ourselves permission to take control of our own happiness!
I want to tell you a story of one my happiness clients.
Molly escaped the war in Bosnia and was able to come to San Francisco to start a new life. For many years she thought that she should not be happy because the people in her country were suffering so much. She participated in many self-help workshops, yet she was still unhappy.
At last she came to the happiness club, over and over, and she never missed a meeting. The message we teach at the happiness club is that “Happiness Is A Decision,” which never made sense to her. In her words, “I felt like you were telling me to be an orange and I am a lemon.” She thought that we were trying to tell her to be something she was not.
One day, I told her a story about two women. She was sad for many years, was divorced and very bitter, felt that her life was a struggle, was always sick, and she always needed people to pity her. She felt like her life was miserable and it would always be that way because of the events she suffered in the past.
The other woman was happy, joyful, outgoing, colorful, fun, and excited about life. This woman also suffered a great deal of pain in the past, but chose to see and experience life’s positive side.It was through this story that Molly realized that happiness really is a CHOICE!!! This was big news in the happiness club because Molly once told the group that she would never be happy. NEVER.
One woman who attended the happiness club even cried for her in empathy!
How about that? That is a very extreme case, yet it is very real and people struggle with their happiness all the time every day! Are you ready to give up the struggle? Are you ready to make the happiness decision?
Okay, for those skeptics who are saying this author is off her rocker and it can’t be that simple if I have been trying to be happy for years and now she just wants me to decide. My response would be that in all those years, you have been in your head trying to get other people, places and things to make you happy.
Place your hand on your heart, breathe and ask yourself, “Am I ready to be happy?”
If the answer is YES! Make that happiness decision!
Happiness is always available to you when you are ready for it. Or you can realize that at some point you are going to have to do something different if you are unhappy. Take a chance! Join me on the happiness highway!
If you need help accessing this happiness deep inside of you, Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Do You Know What Happiness Is?
Aahh, the definition of happiness.
I always get a smirk on my face when I think about this because the funny thing is that no one knows how to define happiness!
No one person can say, “I know the definition of happiness” and get everyone else’s agreement. Happiness means different things to different people! At one level you know as much as I do -- you either are happy or you are not! Maybe you are more nonchalant in your moods, and even you know you are leaning one way or another.
The truth is since our society has been so focused on deriving happiness from external sources, it lost touch with the real true meaning of the emotion and way of being. This is unfortunate because if you don't understand what happiness is, how are you going to move forward to achieve it?
So to help you gain an understanding of what happiness is, I am going to share with you Dr. Bob Nozik’s (Nozik, 2004) definitions of happiness. I have found these definitions in alignment with the type of happiness I teach. Dr. Bob was not happy when he studied happiness for twenty years. Now he is happy all the time, every day, no matter what! As of this year he has been happy every day for twenty years straight! That means that I am bringing you definitions of happiness from a medical doctor who has experienced being unhappy and has discovered how to be happy every day!
Three Types of Happiness:
So there are three forms of happiness I will explain for you. There is ordinary happiness, lasting happiness, and spiritual happiness.
1. Ordinary happiness is the type of happiness we all experience at some point in our lives. It is given to us from external stimulus. I love the example of the secret admirer who sends you flowers. It makes you happy, right?! But think about how long that happiness lasts. Not very long, right? After receiving your flowers you could potentially get stuck in traffic, get hungry, and fight with your significant other and be in a bad mood, all within an hour. My point: Ordinary happiness is stimulated by external sources, it is fleeting, and it is not sustainable. Even if you buy a new car, new car happiness only lasts for about a month, according to research. According to science, this sort of happiness is achieved by finding out what circumstances make you happy and participating in those circumstances as often as possible. Science calls this type of happiness hedonic happiness. You may know it as hedonism. It is defined as good feelings resulting from pleasant sensations and material possessions. It is all about the self and self-interest. That is the meat of it. This type of happiness is great, and I have nothing against it at all. I want you to be really clear on the idea that hedonic happiness is not sustainable beyond three months maximum. (Lyubomirsky, Kasri, Chang, & Chung, 2006) I understand that all of my circumstances are not always in my control and even if for some reason I have the illusion that I have all of my circumstances under control this study in 2006 (Lyubomirsky et al.) proved that even if we have all of the circumstances we want in our life, we will need change by that three month deadline. Therefore, we will be unhappy again due to our circumstances. The only thing that Lyubomirsky et al. points out that will lead us to sustainable happiness is a specific mindset (that I teach!).
2. Eudaimonic happiness was introduced in the psychology research in 2001. Science says that eudaimonic happiness is about doing good -- doing what we are best at in serving society. It is about self and others. This is what Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, calls authentic happiness. Eu-daim-onic breaks down into “nature of a good spirit” in Latin and Greek origin. This type of happiness dates back to the days of Aristotle; where positive psychology is rooted. The basic tenants upholding this type of happiness are your authenticity, your strengths, and having meaning and purpose in life. (Deci & Ryan, 2001) Through my learning from many sustainable happiness experts and through my own experience, I have come to understand eudaimonic happiness to be sustainable. Only you know if you are using your strengths, being authentic and having meaning and purpose in life.
3. Chaironic happiness is about being good -- being at peace with the self, with others, and with God or the cosmos. It is based on developing our innermost being and core values. It can be called spiritual or transcendental happiness, because we can experience it even when we are on our death bed or suffering from terminal cancer or in the midst of adversity. It is the kind of happiness experienced by Zen masters and individuals during peak experiences. The 14th Dalai Lama tried to teach us this in the course the Art of Happiness.
To make things simple for yourself you can think of
Eudaimonic happiness = Sustainable (lasting) happiness
&
Chaironic happiness = Spiritual happiness
When you are experiencing sustainable and spiritual happiness, you have a warm and fuzzy feeling inside you that is a combination of joy and contentment. It is something you experience, for example, when you are “happy” to see a friend or loved one that you have not seen in a while. This happiness is inside of you, deep inside of you, and it is located in your heart center. Sustainable happiness is with all of us all of the time. We have access to it at any moment. We don’t have to wait for that special person, that special place, or that special thing to give us the happiness we are dying for!
If you need help accessing this happiness deep inside of you, Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
I always get a smirk on my face when I think about this because the funny thing is that no one knows how to define happiness!
No one person can say, “I know the definition of happiness” and get everyone else’s agreement. Happiness means different things to different people! At one level you know as much as I do -- you either are happy or you are not! Maybe you are more nonchalant in your moods, and even you know you are leaning one way or another.
The truth is since our society has been so focused on deriving happiness from external sources, it lost touch with the real true meaning of the emotion and way of being. This is unfortunate because if you don't understand what happiness is, how are you going to move forward to achieve it?
So to help you gain an understanding of what happiness is, I am going to share with you Dr. Bob Nozik’s (Nozik, 2004) definitions of happiness. I have found these definitions in alignment with the type of happiness I teach. Dr. Bob was not happy when he studied happiness for twenty years. Now he is happy all the time, every day, no matter what! As of this year he has been happy every day for twenty years straight! That means that I am bringing you definitions of happiness from a medical doctor who has experienced being unhappy and has discovered how to be happy every day!
Three Types of Happiness:
So there are three forms of happiness I will explain for you. There is ordinary happiness, lasting happiness, and spiritual happiness.
1. Ordinary happiness is the type of happiness we all experience at some point in our lives. It is given to us from external stimulus. I love the example of the secret admirer who sends you flowers. It makes you happy, right?! But think about how long that happiness lasts. Not very long, right? After receiving your flowers you could potentially get stuck in traffic, get hungry, and fight with your significant other and be in a bad mood, all within an hour. My point: Ordinary happiness is stimulated by external sources, it is fleeting, and it is not sustainable. Even if you buy a new car, new car happiness only lasts for about a month, according to research. According to science, this sort of happiness is achieved by finding out what circumstances make you happy and participating in those circumstances as often as possible. Science calls this type of happiness hedonic happiness. You may know it as hedonism. It is defined as good feelings resulting from pleasant sensations and material possessions. It is all about the self and self-interest. That is the meat of it. This type of happiness is great, and I have nothing against it at all. I want you to be really clear on the idea that hedonic happiness is not sustainable beyond three months maximum. (Lyubomirsky, Kasri, Chang, & Chung, 2006) I understand that all of my circumstances are not always in my control and even if for some reason I have the illusion that I have all of my circumstances under control this study in 2006 (Lyubomirsky et al.) proved that even if we have all of the circumstances we want in our life, we will need change by that three month deadline. Therefore, we will be unhappy again due to our circumstances. The only thing that Lyubomirsky et al. points out that will lead us to sustainable happiness is a specific mindset (that I teach!).
2. Eudaimonic happiness was introduced in the psychology research in 2001. Science says that eudaimonic happiness is about doing good -- doing what we are best at in serving society. It is about self and others. This is what Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, calls authentic happiness. Eu-daim-onic breaks down into “nature of a good spirit” in Latin and Greek origin. This type of happiness dates back to the days of Aristotle; where positive psychology is rooted. The basic tenants upholding this type of happiness are your authenticity, your strengths, and having meaning and purpose in life. (Deci & Ryan, 2001) Through my learning from many sustainable happiness experts and through my own experience, I have come to understand eudaimonic happiness to be sustainable. Only you know if you are using your strengths, being authentic and having meaning and purpose in life.
3. Chaironic happiness is about being good -- being at peace with the self, with others, and with God or the cosmos. It is based on developing our innermost being and core values. It can be called spiritual or transcendental happiness, because we can experience it even when we are on our death bed or suffering from terminal cancer or in the midst of adversity. It is the kind of happiness experienced by Zen masters and individuals during peak experiences. The 14th Dalai Lama tried to teach us this in the course the Art of Happiness.
To make things simple for yourself you can think of
Eudaimonic happiness = Sustainable (lasting) happiness
&
Chaironic happiness = Spiritual happiness
When you are experiencing sustainable and spiritual happiness, you have a warm and fuzzy feeling inside you that is a combination of joy and contentment. It is something you experience, for example, when you are “happy” to see a friend or loved one that you have not seen in a while. This happiness is inside of you, deep inside of you, and it is located in your heart center. Sustainable happiness is with all of us all of the time. We have access to it at any moment. We don’t have to wait for that special person, that special place, or that special thing to give us the happiness we are dying for!
If you need help accessing this happiness deep inside of you, Visit my Self-Help Store for more tools!
*************************************************************************************************************
Visit Self-Help Store
Free Phone Consultation with Dr. Aymee
Learn how to use Happiness Science to coach others
Hire Dr. Aymee for as a Keynote Speaker
www.happinessmakeover.com
Dr. Aymee Coget, a widely-known happiness expert, has more than 15 years of experience in positive psychology. Through the Happiness Makeover™, a program developed by Coget, she teaches people how to achieve happiness and handle life's challenges. She also serves as CEO and founder of the American Happiness Association, a science-backed nonprofit designed to educate individuals and organizations about how to be happier, and was nominated for CNN Hero of the Year in 2011.
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